The Self, My Self

These days, I have been so much enlightened by the Lord concerning my "self." Never have I seen such a revelation as I saw these days. Though I vaguely knew that my self was the greatest hindrance to my growth in life and my self was my greatest enemy, I was not very clear who this self really was. Had I been clear, I would not have been offended by anybody or anything. My experience proves that I have been offended a couple of times and that too, not because of the "offenders" per se, but my self, the offended one. It was just the reaction of being misled when being touched. The truth is, the Lord wanted to deal with me, my natural man, and sovereignly used people, especially brothers and sisters, to perfect me. When being dealt with my being was not able to take the pain. Therefore, the offense.

Having seen this vision of the self, I still dare not claim that I will never be offended. For, to see is one thing and to be dealt with is another thing. Having seen the vision of the self is a mere knowledge. Now, I must experience the dealing of my self through the operation of the cross by the Spirit. I need grace upon grace to learn the lesson of the cross and be dealt with thoroughly until I can truly say, "No longer I but Christ." (Gal. 2:20)

The Lord Jesus has given me a powerful key to deal with my self. That is, deny the self!

Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake shall find it. (Matthew 16:24-25, RecVer)

From experience, I can testify that even to deny the self was not an easy matter. The Lord’s grace and life supply are needed to deny the self. The self is the motivating factor for the work of the flesh. Only by the Spirit's can I truly deny my self.

For if you live according to the flesh, you must die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the practices of the body, you will live. (Romans 8:13, RecVer)

This has been my desperate prayer these days that by the Spirit I may put the practices of the body to death. Then, the Lord’s word will become true to me in experience. 

He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30, RecVer)

The best way I know for my self to decrease is by denying my self. The HWMR portion on the message, The Exercise of the Kingdom for the Building Up of the Church, has been the Lord's timely speaking to me.

The self is the soul declaring independence from God.

The following are some expressions of the self:

1. With the self there are ambition, pride, and self-exaltation—Matt. 20:20-28; 1 Pet. 5:5; Rom. 12:3; Num. 12:1-10; 16:1-3; Phil. 2:3-4.
2. With the self there are self-righteousness, self-justification, and exposing, criticizing, and condemning others—Matt. 9:10-13; Luke 18:9-14; 1 Pet. 4:8; John 3:17; 8:11; Luke 6:37; Matt. 7:1-5.
3. With the self there are introspection and self-despising—S. S. 2:8-9; 1 Cor. 12:15-16.
4. When we are in the self, we can be offended by the church, the leading ones, or the saints— Matt. 6:14-15; 18:21-35; Mark 11:25-26; Col. 3:13.
5. With the self there are disappointment and discouragement—cf. Rom. 8:28-29; 2 Cor. :1.
6. With the self there are self-love, self- preservation, self-seeking, and self-pity—Matt. 13:5, 20-21.
7. With the self there are murmurings and reasonings—Exo. 16:1-9; Phil. 2:14.
8. ith the self there is natural affection (friendship) based on natural taste and preference—Matt. 12:46-50; Phil. 2:2b; 1 Cor. 12:25.
9. With the self there are the matters of being opinionated and dissenting—John 11:21, 23-28, 39; Acts 15:35-39; cf. 1 Cor. 7:25, 40.
10. When we are in the self, we are individualistic and independent—16:12.

If we exercise the key of denying the self to lock up the self, it is impossible for us to be offended; blessed are those who are not offended—cf. Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60:

1. If we can be offended, it is proof that we are full of self.
2. If my self has been locked up, I will not be offended no matter what you do to me or how you treat me—Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60.

We need to learn to exercise the key of denying the self to lock up the self in every situation:

1. Whether a situation is for us or against us, whether the brothers love us or hate us, we must lock up the self—2 Cor. 12:15.
2. If the self is locked up, the church will be built up.

What a mercy that the Lord showed me my self! All the offenses due to my self have been made void due to this revelation on my self. I praise the Lord for His speaking. I thank the Lord for His wisdom in dealing with me using my beloved brothers and sisters in the church life. O what a grace, o what a mercy. May my self be ever denied! May the Lord grace me to deny my self all the time, all the days of my life.