Shepherding a Brother

A brother has been calling me now and then for fellowship. As a brother, I did my best to shepherd him whenever he called. This time, since I came down to Chennai, I informed him about the possibility of meeting up and also introducing him to the brothers in the church life in Chennai. But, I left the matter to the Lord and let the Spirit do His work. 

When I was actually available to meet, I did not receive a positive response from him and I could not sense that he was indeed serious or eager to fellowship. Therefore, I did not wish to force myself into meeting him. Instead, I gave him the choice to decide on his own. Only if he was willing would I pay the price to meet him. I left the matter to the Lord. Once my fellowship with the brothers in Chennai ended, I waited for him to make the call.

Since I did not receive a response within the time frame I gave him, i.e., before lunchtime on the 19th Dec, I decided to cancel the meeting and go to a brother's house for hospitality. Only when I reached my accommodation, he called me. Only then, I made the decision to meet him.

We eventually met at a lake he proposed to meet at about an hour's drive amidst the city traffic. Then, we spent time together at a nearby coffee house for fellowship over a cup of coffee. We had about two hours of fellowship, especially on his marital issue, and prayed together. I spoke what I felt was needed to be spoken. I was specific in letting him know that the soul-life has to be denied, the self has to be dealt with and follow the Lord. The soul life has been a great hindrance for many to progress spiritually. The soul life also has been a major issue in his marital issues. Only the mercy of the Lord can lead him through in his matter. I recognized that I was not the one to lead anybody, therefore, I deferred every decision he needed to take by sincerely seeking the will of the Lord in everything about his life, especially his marital issue. Though my fellowship with him may be a little sour and I had to let him know that his soul life need to be dealt with, he also felt a little uneasiness with the fellowship I had with him. I felt that was what he needed at the moment. I cannot be a man-pleaser. I must speak what needs to be spoken without fear. At one point, I even told him to his face that his ego, his self, needs to be dealt with by the cross of Christ. Only when the will of the Lord is made clear, He can follow the Lord's leading step by step.

After this fellowship, I said goodbye to him. Since he is a believer himself, I did not feel the need to follow him up and coerce him for anything. Let the will of the Lord be done in his life. Until he takes a further step for further fellowship, I decided not to interfere in his matter again. I leave him to the Lord.

This is a lesson for me too. To be faithful to the truth and not be a man-pleaser.  May the Lord shepherd my brother and gain him fully for His purpose.