Fellowship: Family Matters

A brother has been calling me these days to fellowship about his family situation. He has been going through tough times as his relationship with his in-laws is not so sweet nor smooth. Though they live together without any open fight, there seems to have been many internal struggles and misunderstandings cropping up among them. Therefore, he calls me now and then for fellowship and prayer.

I am not a family counselor, nor am I an expert in family matters. I am a family man too and I am still learning it. There are many biblical truths that I know doctrinally how a Christian family should be, but I don't stress too much on doctrine unless that truly become my own experiences. 

By the Lord's mercy, the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful family. My wife, especially, has been so much blessing to me. In fact, all that I would desire in a sister for my wife before marriage are mostly in my wife. I thank the Lord for the Lord's sovereignty in bringing me and my wife together. Letting the will of the Lord done in my marriage life is one of the best decisions I have made. I have no regret ever since. Instead, I am full of praise and thanksgiving for my wife and the beautiful and wonderful family the Lord has blessed me with.

Some crucial points I always emphasize before marriage is, the perfect will of the Lord be done; let the Lord choose a sister for me and not my choice. The Lord knows the best and I would accept the Lord's choice for me. After marriage, prayer, and oneness with my wife in all things, is my family principle I have been following.  So far, I have proven it to work successfully. My prayer with my wife has always been, "Lord, cause us to love You and to love one another more, and to be one with You and to be one with one another more." The Lord answered such prayer and He honors it. So while fellowshipping with the married or unmarried, I always fellowship with them on these principles which I have proved to be a great blessing.  

As fellowshipped on marital issues, I told my brother to decide everything in prayer and in fellowship with his spouse keeping the principle of oneness and love between husband and wife. Should circumstances allow, the family should always stay together, live together, and do everything together. Now, because of the pandemic, one great blessing has been released to all working saints, Work From Home. So, they can stay with the family and still carry out their jobs. I have strongly advised any ones against separation or divorce, no matter what the marital problems may be. It is never God's will that husband and wife stay separately or even divorced. My fellowship has always been on oneness and love, and pay any price to achieve this oneness and love in the family.

In-law's problem is universal because it is in the law. When the in-law is replaced by in-the-Lord then there will not be any problem. I have spent hours fellowshipping with brothers facing marital issues and prayed together with them, and strongly chastened them when they try to do things otherwise.

I myself, though not perfect, am learning to spend more and more time with my family. In midst of all the responsibility of my service and also the church, I still could spend my little time with them. It is a great joy to see my children grow and live life in joy and happiness. I pray that all my children grow up to love the Lord and serve the Lord all the days of their lives in whatever way the Lord leads them. I would do my best to give them the best education and the best learning I could and leave the rest to the Lord. I am fully aware that how my children turn out to be is all up to the Lord's mercy. But I must do my best to do what I am supposed to do as a father.

Though I am still young, the lesson the Lord has been teaching me has been a profound help to a good number of brothers and sisters I have been fellowshipping with. I am glad that, I can be a positive testimony and pattern to my peers and the young generation. I hope that all the brothers and sisters I fellowshipped with, in marital issues are graced to take the fellowship. And I pray and wish them a God-man family life as much as I do for my own family. After all, all our family lives are for the Lord's testimony, are for the building up, and are for the fulfillment of the Lord's purpose in creating man in His image and likeness to express Him and represent Him on the earth, and even unto eternity.

Lord, bless my family and the family of the saints.