Inward Recovery

Exo. 2:11 -  And in those days, when Moses had grown up, he went out to his brothers and looked on their burdens; and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brothers.Exo. 2:12 - And he looked this way and that, and when he saw that there was no one there, he struck the Egyptian down and hid him in the sand.Exo. 2:13 - And he went out the next day, and there were two Hebrew men struggling together; and he said to the one who was in the wrong, Why are you beating your companion?Exo. 2:14 - And he said, Who appointed you a ruler and a judge over us? Are you thinking to kill me as you killed the Egyptian? And Moses became frightened and said, Surely the matter is known.Exo. 2:15 - Now when Pharaoh heard of this matter, he sought to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh to dwell in the land of Midian, and he sat down by a well. 

Moses grew up, trained as the son of Pharoah's daughter in all the knowledge and skill of an Egyptian. He thought that he could deliver his people by his natural strength and training he had thus far received from Egypt. But his very natural ability led him to flee Egypt. He could not deliver a soul with what he was and had obtained or achieved. This may just be just a Bible history or story to many, but to me, it is my story. 

With all the knowledge and skill I have learned so far, I have many dos and don'ts concerning a human life. I even treasure some of my knowledge as really good, but the Lord had to expose me to know that all my knowledge are as good as bad, if not worst. This is what I just learned.

Last few weeks I gave a lot of counselling to my Onesimus' according to what I deemed good and proper. But it just proved to me that without the Lord's work in me and in the ones I care for, all human moral and ethical teaching is a vanity fair. I had a good heart and intent to correct my dear brothers, but without the Lord's supply of life, it's as good as speaking to a dumb donkey. The more you speak and teach, the more the donkey boos at you. I initiated something with good intent but ended up in contempt. I just learned my lesson.

After these few experiences, I went before the Lord and prayed for myself and the brothers I care for. I gave up trying to correct anybody; now I know fully well, its a vain and hopeless attempt to do so. I decided to stop all outward corrections henceforth, but spend time with my brothers in prayer, morning revival, and reading the Bible with them. Only the Lord's inward recovery by life is the answer. Though I knew this before, but now I know it better, even subjectively.

The fallen human nature is sinful and beyond improvement. Outward teachings and corrections cannot change a bit of the inward nature and life of the people concerned. Even outward spiritual help of repenting and turning to the Lord did not really work. Rather, through all these repenting and turning to the Lord, there must be substantial dispensing of the divine life that changes people's nature and inward being. No human effort can do this, only the Lord's divine life can. So more dispensing of the the divine life is the need of the hour.

Since I learned this lesson subjectively, I now look to the Lord for His life dispensing to me and to all who I care for.

Recently, my pursuing of Life-study of Ezekiel, chapter 17, helped me in this matter.

The genuine recovery of the Lord is not simply a matter of repenting, turning to the Lord, and enjoying the blessing of the Lord. There also needs to be a change in our life and nature. In His recovery, God needs to touch our heart and our spirit and thereby touch our life directly and change us in life and nature. Therefore, we need both the outward recovery described in Ezekiel 34 and the inward recovery described in Ezekiel 36. Because the recovery in Ezekiel 36 concerns our life and our nature and involves our heart and our spirit, chapter thirty-five is inserted to show the importance of judging our old man. In order to recover us and make us a new man, God must judge our old man, our old creation.

Lord, recover us by Your life inwardly; may there be inward change in our life and nature.