Ground Zero

Everything surrounding me and the feeling I have deep within, when evaluating in the light I have received from the Lord, seems to tell me that all things are on ground zero. My evaluation yields more of negative result than positive; a self assessment of my life and services, but this is not a religious introspection. I personally feel my judgement may be accurate as I know myself in the light the Lord has been shining on me these days and also confirmed in fellowship with some matured brothers. Be it my service in the literature, or in the church, I have been having this sense of really being on ground zero. I have nothing to boast of any achievement or success,  even if there be any, as my being is desperately open to the Lord for His dealings, yet all in His loving mercy and grace. 

The two brothers, my Onesimus' that I and my wife have been shepherding in a way of giving them hospitality have not been doing well these days. They seems to create more troubles for themselves, among themselves, and even to an extent, for our family. At times there are concerns of their welfare, both spiritual and physical, and other times, a deep concern for our family and our growing children. Yet everytime I brought the matter to the Lord, the Lord’s speaking is, just to be quite and let them stay with us. My impatience for waiting too long for a quick result ran out few days ago. I personally confronted one of them verbally, rebuking severely and even threatening to let them leave the house and be by themselves, but the Lord would not honor my self reaction as He definitely has a better plan. Thank God, I restraint myself and stopped pursuing the matter. 

Following the incident, I was deeply humbled because of my helplessness and I seriously intensified my intercessory prayer for them. From then on, I fully submit my self, my family and the brothers to the Lord's loving hand. And I fellowshipped the same burden with my wife. I even told her, the Lord as the good Shepherd will shepherd us and them, and later, this will become our testimony of practical shepherding. If we could both pass this test of shepherding troublesome brothers, we would be able to shepherd any saints in the future. We both agreed in one accord to learn this lesson of shepherding from ground zero. 

Similarly, the Lord also enlightened me to see my helpless situation in the church as well concerning the saints. Though we all are saints indeed, the vitality and practise of the God-ordained way as we normally should carry out hasn't been realized yet. Each saint has their own situation only which the Lord can interfere and deliver them from. Often my prayer has just been, "O Lord,  have mercy!" What else can I pray? The Lord's mercy is what we need. 

Looking at my service too,  though all is well to others. But to my deeper assessment I could see a lot of room for improvement. Ranging from spiritual to physical, many areas need to be improved. Our standard of service must go up, our quality of production must be uplifted, and our infrastructure and personnel skill needs to be upgraded. 

With all these analysis in view, I deeply feel, I am still on ground zero. Had it been the world that I am serving, management skill would be a great help. Not that I am ignorant of management, I just cannot exercise my human skill without the Lord’s anointing and blessing. So, with much hope I resign from what I can perhaps do, and simply recline at the Lord's feet for His working in me and through me for His divine purpose. 

Yes, I now stand and henceforth, begin my journey afresh from ground zero. Trusting the Lord shepherding care, practical guidance and His blessing, I look forward to and expect the Lord's blessing from ground zero. Amen