Counting God's Blessings

Often times I wonder if the Lord's blessing is upon us or not, especially in the church matter as I coordinated with a brother. Even a senior and matured brother used to fellowship with us in this church matter, as the physical attendance of the Lord's Table Meeting has not been increasing for years now. This indeed is a matter of concern, and we, in the brothers' fellowship have been praying and fellowshipping on this matter quite often. Even me, personally, am looking to the Lord for His mercy that there be a break through in increase. 

When in fellowship last week, this brother whom I revered and honored very much,  asked me, "Palmei, you have been very exercised, praying, studying the word,  pursuing the ministry, and shepherding.. Why is there no increase?" My simply reply was, "Brother, I have been asking the same question to the Lord." And I fellowshipped with him that though there may not be an outward increase to quantify the result of our labor,  but I do definitely take my experiences in the church in Gurgaon as a training from the Lord,  and in shepherding I do enjoy the Lord  very much. I also testified of how the Lord has been graceling me to labor on few families for three years on a weekly basis and how they finally came to the church life and now becoming responsible brothers in the church. I also testified of what the Lord has wrought into me subjectively. Whenever I travel for literature distribution or gospel propagation I have been referring to the experiences God blessed me in Gurgaon. In such  trips I enjoyed the presence and blessing of the Lord so much. Then, he affirmed of what I shared in fellowship and commented that many times the Lord will used "difficult" situations for our training, learning and perfecting. 

As I went back home and considered the question the brother asked me, "Why is there not much blessing?", the Lord reminded me to count all the blessings He has bestowed on the church in Gurgaon. How many saints have been shepherded, how many young people have been sent from the church in Gurgaon to join the full time training, and how many have been serving full time now, and some even are our co-workers today, then, I was so encouraged to learn that the Lord indeed has blessed the church I am in, a lot. But I do not wish to take this as an excuse either, for  not gaining the increase that is expected of a local church. Yes,  manifold blessings are there, and I must expect for much more blessings,  even the kind mentioned by our senior brother,  of increase in number,  as the normal acceptable standard. Lord, gain Your increase. 

Besides, on the official side, as I counted the blessings of God, I thanked the Lord in how He has been leading me in accomplishing quite a number of important official tasks. Many of them started off with no clue,  but as I labored and prayed over it, all of the tasks were accomplished and fine tuned one by one. And after the works were done I just marvelled at the Lord's wonderful hands behind the scenes. I could not help but just praised the Lord. 

When counting the Lord's blessings one by one, I have only words to thank and praise the Lord. 

Thank You Lord, for all Your blessings. Keep me under Your blessings all the days of my life. 

The Joy of God’s Presence

One of the treasures I treasure in my Christian life is the presence of God. Without the presence of God with me, I dare not go anywhere nor do anything. But to be assured of the Lord's presence, oneness with  the Lord and with His Body is of utmost importance. Hence, the need to fellowship and coordinate in the Body is a basic requirement. With all these requirements met, and set in place through fellowship and coordination, I set out for yet another ministry of the word literature journey. This time it's a North India Distribution of the Ministry of the Word : Hindi Literature.

This is the first stage for North India Hindi speaking region tour to Uttarakhand. As I set out, I enjoyed the Lord's presence so much. Especially when I took a Sumo mountain tracking vehicle, it was all a wonderful tour of prayer. On the one hand,  enjoying God’s beautiful  creation,  the hills, the valleys, the greens rows,  the rivers,  rocky mountains, beautiful landscapes etc. And yet,  at the same time, praising and praying all the way. Though it took eight hours of climbing the mountain terrain, the joy of the Lord was so sweet and strong. Many prayer burdens were released throughout the journey to my heart's content. I could spend enough time to release all my burdens before the Lord in detail. What a joy to enjoy the Lord Himself and His creation! 

When I reached my destination,  a brother's house in Pithoragarh at the mountain top from which the Himalayan ranges are visible, I took a short rest with tea,  and then set out to meet the main Christian leader of the biggest Christian group in town. As we fellowshipped, the Lord opened the eyes of this leader; he was so interested in the ministry  books that he proposed a seminar for the entire Christian leaders and workers in town, and asked us to visit some of his  acquaintances who loves the Lord. As he fellowshipped, I just felt that the Lord has given us open doors as we have been praying for,  for the spread of the ministry of the word. A new light  dawned in me that there is a wide open door all over Hindi speaking region! I never saw this vision before that the Hindi speaking belt of India is ready for the ministry of the word. I just realised that the Lord took me to this mountain top beside the Himalayas to see this light, that there are open doors among the majority Hindi speaking population.

Later, a fellowship with a Principal and also owner of a higher secondary school, was also very encouraging. As I introduced the ministry books, immediately he ordered all the Hindi books we introduced. We had a short fellowship and prayer. That was my day's portion.

Finally, before resting for the day, I had some serious fellowship with a brother who was considering to leave his full time service to do full time business to meet his intense financial need. My simple fellowship was that he should be very clear from the Lord in whatever step he decided to take. And not to succumb to pressure; often such pressures are God ordained. That he may learn God’s ways and know God Himself.

With all these joyful experiences for the day, it was returned time. The joy of God's presence has always been, and will always be my heart's treasure. 

Lord,  preserve me in the joy of Your presence all the days of my life. 

Build In to Build Up!

Lesson on building are not easily learned. Though the vision and revelation of the building up of the Body of Christ may be crystal clear, but the reality and practicality of the heavenly lights from the Lord are to be learned. Else, it may just end up being a "good doctrine on building." 

By the  Lord's mercy, I have been learning the teaching concerning the building work of God, and by His mercy again, I have seen some light, vision and revelation on the building. Yet, I humbly confess that I am still learning to really be built up for the building work of God. The Lord has been faithfully speaking to me again and again on this matter of building up. Thank God for all the training, conferences and fellowship that helps me see the importance and urgency of the building work of God and my own urgent need to be built up with my fellow members in the Body of Christ.

Thus far, I dare not say that I have been built up, but I do say, I am learning to be built up with my fellows co-workers and coordinators in the Lord's service. Frankly speaking, to be built up really needs the Lord's mercy and grace; especially when it comes to being practically crossed-out of all things "non-blendable" and crossed-in in the spirit of coordination-to be fitly framed and joined in the Body.  

Two very recent incidents help me a lot in the matter of building. Though I have an official and specific responsibility related to the literature service where the Lord has sovereignly placed me in, the fellowship from the Body on two important matters that never dawned on me, gave me light to listen to and follow up on the concerned fellowship. I took to heart and followed it up, and discovered that these proposals are very good for my official responsibility and also for me personally as serving ones. Save for the Body's fellowship, I would have been blinded regarding these two crucial matters. Thank God for this small instances of receiving fellowship and learning to be built up with the Body.

As I made plans for the two: one is a distribution trip in North India (Uttrakhand) in coordination with free Rhema Literature Distribution, and the other is a matter of starting a new literature office in New Delhi in coordination with the church in New Delhi and the serving brothers, I learned that these were truly of the Lord revealed through the members of His Body. And in pursuing the fellowship of the brothers I could see and experience the Lord's anointing and blessing. These are how I am learning to build up for the building work of God.

Even in the church in Gurgaon, these days our Saturday brothers' fellowship is all focused on being built up with one another to build into the Body of Christ. Our pray-reading of the word, the ministry of the word, and prayer have all been with this one goal of "build in to build up." 

Excerpts from the ministry that I enjoyed so much on "building":

In the perfecting training messages we dealt with the problems of opinion and peculiarity. But no matter how much you may exercise yourself to solve the problems of opinion and peculiarity, if you are not built up, none of those messages will be of any help to you. Only as we are built up together can the matters of opinion and peculiarity be dealt with. As long as you are willing to be built into God’s building and actually are built in, the problems of opinion and peculiarity will disappear.…Our unique need is to be built in.

True spirituality is a matter of the building. Without the building, the spiritual house, there is no sanctification, spirituality, or spiritual power. A certain brother may seem to be kind, holy, and spiritual. But if this brother is not built into God’s building, his apparent spiritual wealth will become spiritual bankruptcy. The reason for such a condition is that without the building there is no protection or covering.

The principle is the same with God’s spiritual building. If we want to be protected, we need to be built into God’s building. Our protection is not our spirituality; our protection is the building. 

The shortcomings in the lives of even the most spiritual Christians are due to the lack of building up. (Life-study of Exodus, pp. 1336, 1335, 1337)

Perhaps, there may be many more lessons to learn in the matter of building up. May the Lord grace me in His time to really be built up and built in the Body.

Lord, build me up with others saints by being built-in in coordination, that I may be built in to build up.  

Mammon

Matthew 6:24No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.
An Aramaic word signifying wealth, riches. Mammon stands in opposition to God, indicating that wealth, or riches, is the opponent of God, robbing God's people of their service to Him. (Footnote from Recovery Version on Mammon).

"No one can serve two masters", is an emphatic word form the Lord Jesus Christ Himself; either serve God or serve mammon. Never did I understand the depth of this profound yet simple statement. Yes, I have been mentally harboring the evil of mammon without actually realising how wicked indeed it has been throughout the ages. No wonder the Lord equated His opponent as "mammon" who is Satan in an attractive form. Mammon is a personification of Satan.

Recently, in my church life I have been seeing this open secret more clearly. That too, among the saints? How subtle Satan is to seduce the saints into the secrecy of his sinful snares? Using money, Satan has been playing spoil sport among the saints. Most of these saints are in fellowship with me personally, and it was a precious lesson for me too,  to learn not to be snared by the subtlety of Satan.

A brother entered into an agreement with another brother for a car deal which is still on EMI. The first brother got the loan, but as it became too heavy, he passed the car on to another brother with the understanding that the second brother would continue to pay the EMI of the loan. This seemed to worked well until a cheque bounce case with a fine imposed on the first brother got embroiled with the second, and the latter too could not pay the due on time due to inconsistent job. The true nature of mammon got exposed,  even creating enmity between the two brothers. Finally, the matter reached me. What should I do? Just pray for the Lord's covering of the saints. Later, the two got reconciled, and perhaps, they have learnt their lessons.

Another case was with sisters who handled a certain account of visiting saints from abroad. But mysteriously some money got missed with no clue of expense nor how it was misplaced. This incident took an ugly turn creating suspicion among the sisters involved,  yet every stakeholders claiming innocence. The fact was, nobody knew how the money got missed. But later, in fellowship things were reconciled.

Similarly, many among the saints too are caught up with money matter. For some reason, many of these are in direct fellowship with me personally. I could perceive clearly the destructive hand of the enemy to destroy the church life. Try whatever he may, all these experiences are creating positive impact on our Christian life and church life. What the enemy meant for worst was sovereignly used by God to perfect us, for our learning,  growth and maturity in life.

Now I really loathe mammon. If only I could do without it, I would have gotten rid of it altogether. Nevertheless, it still has to be used for the human needs, but not to love it nor be entangled by it. The best way to handle mammon, especially money, I have learned so far is, to consecrate all our money to the Lord that the Lord may sanctify it's usage, and offer to the Lord back for the Lord's work on earth, to the church, to the needy saints and for the Lord's move on earth.

Lord, grace me to love You more and more each day; more than anything else, even more than mammon.

Joy of Being Nothing

In my personal and intimate fellowship with the Lord yesterday morning, the Lord led me to a higher stage of spiritual life where I could see myself in His light, and as Job did, I could truly say from the depth of my being,  "I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye has seen You; Therefore I abhor myself, and I repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:5,6). 

Since the beginning of my Christian life, there used to be a spiritual dream of becoming "somebody" in the Christian world. Secular and earthly glory had been forsaken, yet the hidden ambition within me, even to accomplish "great tasks for the Lord" and "bring glory to God" were all in the same principle as that of the earthly. The more danger in spiritual life is the seeking of spiritual glory in the name of Christ. Often times there was an inward struggle to be someone or somebody in the spiritual circle. 

Liked it or not, there had been a hidden battle waged within me to be of someone who would be in a "circle of fellowship" on taking the lead for the Lord's move. Apparently, it looked like a good thing to be ambitious for the Lord's work, but deep within lies a hidden disease of pride, perhaps, spiritually, and a danger of love for leadership in the same principle as that of Jeroboam. To be precise, this is the love to be leading ones in the work of the Lord  as coworkers and among the children of God in a local church as elders. Of course, the Bible did say, "Faithful is the word: If anyone aspires to the overseership, he desires a good work." (1 Timothy 3:1). I definitely am not against the word of God, but referring to the love for leadership, of position, name and fame, rather than the overseership, as a shepherd among the flock of God. While the former is positional and objective, and the latter, functional and subjective. The former is to be abhorred to the core, and the latter to be desired and longed for.

I do confess that I did have this disease as ones who has been called by the Lord to serve. I am no exception. But the ministry of the word has been helping me to deal with ambition, which by the Lord's mercy, I am learning to be dealt with. The grace of God has preserved me till date, and through the cross by the spirit, the Lord has been gaining ground in me, inch by inch. Thank God for the faithful speaking of brother Watchman Nee, Witness Lee and the brothers who are blended together ministering the timely word of God in the present age. Time and again, I have presented myself before God be touched and graced upon, so that I may be a vessel proper, coordinated and built into the Body of Christ. I believe the Lord is faithful. As I was in an intimate fellowship with the Lord, I felt the veil that had blinded me was torn. I found myself in great relief. That thing that nagged me all this while was just gone! Praise the Lord!

Though the time I spent in intimate fellowship was short, and though I did not intend to bring this matter, but the Lord touched me in in this very thing. I just abhorred my ugly self, repented for nurturing such fleshly thought for so long, even under the cloak of spirituality, and looked to the Lord for His sure mercies and grace, that I be preserved all the days of my life. With the Lord's light, there was a drastic change of looking at things. As before the Lord I can now say, I don't desire such "dreams" any longer, and I am not even qualified for that dream to come true. What a relief, what a joy! Just be a brother who loves the Lord and serves the Lord as He graces. 

Now I understand J N Darby's song, "O the joy of having nothing and being nothing." 

O the joy of having nothing and being nothing, seeing nothing
But a living Christ in glory,
And being careful for nothing but His interests down here.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee?
And there is none upon the earth that I desire beside Thee.
O the joy of having nothing and being nothing, seeing nothing
But a living Christ in glory,
And being careful for nothing but His interests down here.

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/26

Lord, thank You for this grace! Preserve me by Your grace all the days of my life. Amen.

    

Facilitator(?!)

About three years ago when I was permitted to learn Greek though not a translator myself, for the class was meant for such only; it was a dream come true to me, and I really mean it till date. Since then, I have been learning my "father tongue." Now that the course have come to its completion, and qualified translators have been selected to translate from Greek to few select Indian languages. And yet again I am still not a translator, but a learner of Greek only. When a new course was proposed, I myself proposed to enroll again as a learner from the beginning, but my instructor's straight answer was an emphatic "no." He opined that I should rather stay on Greek and keep improving. Then, I dropped the idea of getting  enrolled again.

Few weeks later, my instructor invited me to join the course as a facilitator instead. This offer was even more humbling. I requested to be a student, of which I was turned down, and instead offered and enrolled as "facilitator." My world span for a while in disbelief; how could I ever teach? I must be kidding. But it was true, and indeed, very true. 

I was enrolled as a facilitator, yet so much to me as a learner. In no way I reckon myself fit to "facilitate." Nevertheless, I became one, learning to coordinate with my instructors. Things have happened beyond my imagination, and I simple say "amen" to the sovereign Lord. My only prayer is that I may learn Greek thoroughly well to be of use in the Lord's hand.

Two classes have elapsed when I attended the new course as a "facilitator," but deep within me as a learner. My only desire in this regard is to live up to the expectation of my instructor, and perform better than when I was a student myself.

Lord, grace me to be a good learner and facilitator.    

Mama's Call

Since my childhood I hardly got to stay with my own parent. All my school life I was with my grandparent, and all my college life I was in the hostels. The only time I got to be with my parent was during the vacations. Later, when I finished my secular education till Master's degree, the Lord called me to fear Him, love Him and serve Him; to this call I pay my utmost heed to, and went for two years training. Then my serving the Lord began in serving in the church in New Delhi, then Gurgaon and, then in the literature service till date. By the way, I also got married and now God graces me with three children. With this time-tight chronicles where was indeed the time to really be with my own parents? Often, I was too occupied to even remember that I have families too. But now and then, as the Lord leads I visited my parents, made calls to them and even offer for them whenever the need arises and the Lord blesses.

Two days ago I received a couple of missed calls from my dad's number late in the night. Wondering it must have been important, I tired to call back, but could not get through. The next day I called them, and the voice I heard from the other end was so sweet to my heart, as much to my ear. It was my mother's soft and low voice, calling in tender care and enquiring how I have been doing. Few sentences were sufficient to melt my heart- the voice of my beloved mother with whom I hardly spent time till date. She loves me, I believe even much more than I do. As for me, my love has been so widened to so many other people as a servant of God. Still the special feeling for one's mom, nothing can compare. 

As she mentioned how they have been faring well at home, my heart longs to participate in some of the family needs. My innate response to the short conversation over the phone was, "Mom, tell me how may I help you..." Then without her answering anything I decided and told her I would like to offer a certain amount of money for the family's need. Then our sweet talk ended with a "goodbye."

I brought the matter before the Lord in prayer, and then in fellowship with my beloved wife too; for we are one, "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone," she amened my felling. And mutually as husband and wife, and children to our parent, the offering was thus transferred. It was indeed a blessing and a joy to participate in whatever way we can, as the Lord blesses, to cherish our parent.

Though being a father myself of three now, still Mama's love, expressed in Mama's call continue to ring in my ears. It seems as though it has become a bell in my ears that chimes with every little turns. 

Thank you Lord for my parent, especially my mom. Bless them and give them long life.

Every night as a family we prayed for my wife's parent in Taipei and my parent in Imphal, that God would grace them good health and long life to be a blessing to the younger generation and be divine life dispensers.

God bless our parents!