Marriage Pre-Fellowship

 Serving the Lord as a slave with all humility. Acts 20:19a

In the matter of shepherding I have been reminded again and again by the Lord that I am a "slave". As such, I have no choice but to follow the Shepherd wherever He leads me. This sounds like I have no freedom to choose nor decide for myself.  But actually, I am freed from making my own natural decision and expressing my opinion. It was true freedom indeed from the self. I need not try to exercise my soul-life, but simply, in obedience, follow the Lord's sovereign arrangement.

As the church is growing in life and in numbers, more and more saints need shepherding. A family with two brothers and a sister who are all young adult, educated and settled in their career, and yet not yet married, came into the church life. As they are enjoying the church life and are growing in the Lord, we also care for their marriage. In fact, the eldest brother among them approached me last year concerning his marriage. Since then I have been considering,  and in fellowship, with my brother in the church, we have been praying for him and his siblings for their marriage.

For the past few months, we have been considering for him a sister. Since his parents are not in the church life, we are careful to make sure that all that we do is of the Lord. Therefore, we prayed and waited for the right time to meet the parents first before we go ahead. The sister we considered has fully given herself to the Lord and to the brothers' fellowship. As we are responsible for any proposal we make, we wanted to make sure that we have done the right thing at the right time. Therefore, we met the family of this brother.

Since the siblings have come into the church life leaving their parent's faith which is not orthodox according to the Bible, the father definitely had a say when we visited them. He treated us so badly by trying to argue with us on the topic of the church or Christianity veering away from the main top of the discussion, their son's marriage proposal. It was a unique experience for us too when we were verbally abused and scolded yet we did not open our mouth to counter or defend ourselves. Our burden was not to debate on which Christian group is right or wrong. Our burden was to talk to the parent concerning their children's marriage, and also to get to know the family better so that we can help them in the most appropriate way. Our meeting opened our eyes and we ourselves are the witnesses to the true condition of the family especially the father. In fact, that was exactly why we wanted to meet the father of the brother for whom we are proposing a sister.

I personally took that as a lesson of shepherding as well. Frankly peaking I was not hurt by all that he said, as I knew he has been going through a lot in his life after he broke up with a Christian group and now has been captured by a cultic group. When a brother and I went to fellowship, our burden was not merely for the marriage of his children, but much for the restoration of the family and shepherd them into the church life. For this, we would pay any price as a shepherd who pays the price to search for one lost sheep leaving behind the ninety-nine. The loving heart of the Father has indeed been gradually developed into our hearts. Therefore, our heart was to shepherd the entire family, spiritually in truth and life, and physically, to help all the siblings get married in the church life.

After we met them and were about to leave, the father who abused me, apologized for his behavior and begged for our forgiveness. He even shook my hand before I left the house. As we drove back, we simply prayed for the family that the Lord would come in and recover the father first of all. Later, both their son and daughter sent me a message of apology for their father's behavior with us. I replied both of them back as follows:

Dear Br. D______ and Sis. S______,

Praise the Lord! Thank you for welcoming us to your home.

We appreciate your father as he was genuinely expressing his feeling. We understand the pain he has been going through. We are not hurt by anything he said. In fact, we prayed and prayed before we came and after we left from your home. We are glad that we could talk face to face. We sincerely sympathize with him and pray for your family. 

Please convey my love and thanks to your mom and dad. I personally consider them as my parent too, as your brother in the Lord.

We feel that the Lord is gracing your family for His divine purpose. It would be healthy and proper for you all to have more family fellowship with your father and mother. No argument, yet not compromising on the truths of the Bible, but as children comforting your parent.

In this way, with much prayer, the Lord will heal all the wounds within and fully recovery your family. And the Lord will arrange marriages for the three of you. 

Much grace, brother and sister.

Romans 14:17-19

17. For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 

18. For he who serves Christ in this is well pleasing to God and approved by men. 

19. So then let us pursue the things of peace and the things for building up one another.

Now, the matter is in the Lord's hand. I felt I have done my best. And now the sister we considered has to take the final call if she is willing to continue with the brother whose family we have met. If this is truly of the Lord, the Lord will work it out. Otherwise, the Lord's will be done. Meanwhile, I have experienced a lot. That itself is already worth it. Praise the Lord for the lesson of shepherding! 

Wedding Ring

It was on the 10th of October, last Saturday, that a sister and a brother were joined together in marriage. The family had invited a brother and me to witness the marriage and also participate in the wedding in sharing the word of God and pray for the couple. My portion was to bless the ring and help them exchange the ring with a marriage vow. As brothers in the Lord taking care of the saints, we both participated and carried our assigned responsibility.

Since the marriage was conducted during COVID-19 where the restriction has been imposed on public gathering, no other saints in the church apart from both of us could attend. Moreover, this being a family arrangement, we complied with the arrangement. Our presence to grace the occasion and bless the couple with the family was the best that we could do.

My brother gave the word of God from the Bible explaining the spiritual significance of marriage, pointing to Christ and the church. And I gave the word on the significance of the wedding ring as a type of the sealing Spirit that seals the ones who wear the ring and claims the right of ownership. God, our Father, has sealed us, all His children, with His sealing Spirit  and claims His right of ownership upon us. Therefore, we all belong to God, as children of God. 

In a similar manner, when the bride and the groom exchanged the wedding ring, they exchanged the right of ownership of one another. The bride belongs to the groom and the groom belongs to the bride. They co-own one another, and they both are owned by God Himself who is the reality of the ring, the sealing Spirit. And I also prayed for the couple on the burden of ownership and oneness, that they both be one with God and one with one another all the days of their lives, that they both be faithful to God and faithfully to one another all the days of their lives, and they both love God and one another to one another all the days of their lives. That was the blessing bestowed on the newly wedded couple based on the truth. 

The Lord has been reminding me again and again of shepherding. According to His word, a shepherd shepherds the sheep by giving them all-inclusive care. When the Lord places one in the responsibility of a shepherd in a local church, he must function likewise, serving as a slave. 

Serving the Lord as a slave with all humility. Acts 20:19a

I am glad that I could be counted worthy to be one of the Lord's slaves to serve in coordination with other slaves in shepherding the saints with all-inclusive care. In fact, this was the second marriage I attended for the same family. The first one was when the elder son got married where we conducted the marriage and also shared the word of God and prayed for the couple. This time it was for the daughter. We did all these with the heart of love, care, and shepherding.  

May the Lord preserve the entire family for His testimony.

Fellowship: Marriage

These days a brother and I, as responsible brothers in the church, have been fellowshipping and helping young brothers and sisters in their marriage plan. We have also been fellowshiping with a brother and sister in their marriage consideration. In all the initiatives that we took, it was with much prayer and consideration.

Last Lord's day night, we were invited to a family of a sister who has been engaged to a brother for planing the wedding procedures. Though they still wanted to practice the traditional wedding style, which I personally will not adhere to it myself, we did not insist on any of our opinion. Our burden was very clear. Since the entire family has not yet come into the church life, whatever we are doing and will do is with the burden of shepherding the entire family,  many of whom are not even saved yet. As long as the thing is not sinful and does not go against the word of God, we tread carefully with a heart of shepherding. Later, as I drove back home and was listening to a Life-study of Ephesians Radio Program on Message 23, I was confirmed of the way to handle this matter. 

Therefore, we must repudiate all ordinances and go along with the practices of the saints, as long as these practices do not involve anything sinful, immoral, or idolatrous. Although we may not approve of certain practices, we should go along with them in order to give no ground for ordinances.

After we went through the proposed procedures of wedding, the Lord gave us the opportunity to fellowship and shepherd the family. 

Since the topic of fellowship was on marriage, I felt the burden to share my own testimony of marriage. Coincidentally, my brother also asked me to testify to the whole family of how I got married. 

I began by stating the biblical truth about God's ordination of marriage. Then started my testimony on how the will of the Lord was being done. To give a balanced view of marriage which many reckon to be a grand  celebration, I testified that my marriage was arranged in a simple way with the church in Taipei's conducting it. It was a simple gathering of the church to witness the marriage. No pomp and show, no glitter and  glamor, but the key thing that was significant was, the Lord's presence. 

I emphasized strongly that the Lord's presence is to be treasured most in a wedding meeting. Once we have the Lord's presence we have every heavenly and spiritual blessings that also includes the earthly and physical blessings too. I further testified that my marriage was full of testimonies. I myself testified of the Lord's works in my life, my wife and her parent and the saints also gave testimonies. Every speaking, hymn singing, and prayer was just testimonies. Marriage indeed is a testimony meeting, a testimony of the church concerning the bride and groom being wedded to be one in the witness of both God and man. In my marriage, the blessing of God and the church by the elders laying their hands upon me and my wife and blessing us was a very precious eternal gift. That blessing has brought abundant blessings throughout our marriage life. Today, everyone who knows us can testimony to that fact, the Lord's blessing in our family life. I felt so blessed to be graced of this wonderful wedding gift, the laying of hands of the elders of the church and blessing us!

I also testified of the testimony shared to me after our wedding meeting. The brother and sisters came and testified to us that they felt and enjoyed the Lord's presence in the wedding meeting. In fact, my brother-in-law's boss, who also has been a Christian all his life, came and shook my hand and testified, "Brother  Palmei, the first time in my life I realized that Christ is still alive!" These testimonies are sweet memories of the Lord's blessing and I keep sharing them whenever the Lord led me to do so. The Lord is so good to me!

I continued my testimony on how I and my wife started our marriage life. I emphasized some practical God-man living that we have been practicing all these years. Praying together, being in one accord in serving the Lord, honoring the Lord with offerings from His blessings, living by faith, exercising and practicing to be one even in money matters, etc. And I also testified of how the Lord provided all our financial needs to start a family life, and that too, in abundance, and He has been faithfully providing. I also told the family the need for a normal marriage life in today's age of moral degradation and lawlessness. And encouraged the sister to be married to treasure and pray for a normal marriage life for the Lord's testimony. 

Then we all prayed together for the sister who was to get married, for the marriage function, for the family, and for the Lord's testimony ultimately through all that we do. Then, we took leave, trusting the Lord for His practical leading.

May the Lord recover the entire family for His testimony.

Shepherding the Saints

The Lord is my Shepherd and He is also the Shepherd of the saints. He as the Shepherd shepherds His flock through his many shepherds of whom I am graced to be one of them. As I serve in coordination in the local church here, saints now and then come for shepherding. Though I don't presume to be a shepherd myself, the Lord brought saints who need shepherding. And in shepherding them, I am being shepherded as well.

Yesterday, a sister called me and narrated all the bad dreams of demonic attacks she underwent in her dream and seriously needed a prayer. I comforted her with the word of God in Numbers 23:23

Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, Nor is there any divination against Israel. Now it shall be said of Jacob And of Israel, What has God wrought! 

The devil can threaten to attack, but they cannot really posses a believer as the Lord Spirit is in their spirit. I encouraged her to be filled with the word of God giving no room for the enemy. I also told her about her need to be blended with the saints more and be in fellowship of the church. This is not merely for her enjoyment but also for her protection. Then we prayed together.

Today, she and her two children came over to our home for love feast lunch. My wife and I had a wonderful time of fellowship with them. There was nourishing with the word of God and prayer, and there was also cherishing with human care and concern. They have been going through a lot in their lives as she has been through two divorces and court cases bugging her all the time. She also admitted her mistakes in acting according to her flesh in the past. I charged her to treasure the Lord's presence more than anything else. As she is also now faced with many difficult decisions to make, I warned her strictly not to go by her logic and natural mind. But to wait on the Lord and wait for His leading. Until she is clear about the Lord's leading she must wait and wait and do nothing. The Lord's presence is most to be treasured, without which nothing must be done. She agreed to the fellowship and has been humbled by all the hardships she has been bearing all this while. Then, we all prayed together. After such a time of fellowship and shepherding, she and her son and daughter were so happy and filled with much joyful noises of fellowship in my home. We all were shepherded.

Two weeks ago, another sister called up and requested for fellowship. She came along with her business partner, a brother in the Lord. As we fellowshipped, the Lord led me to minister on the line of "enquiring of the Lord" for everything in our Christian life. In fact, this topic came up based on that brother's last name, Jehosaphet. His father had given him this name as he was inspired by the life of king Jehosaphet in the Bible who enquired of the Lord. Our fellowship was fully in doing the will of the Lord even in business affairs and all practical matters. I shared my testimony of how the Lord saved me and called me and led me thus far. The Lord came to shepherd all of us in that fellowship and we all prayed together. Then I gifted this brother, a Hindi Rhema set, the Gospel John Recovery Version, and a set of English Shepherding Materials, which he happily received them with a promise to read them as well.

In this way, though I could not go out much, the Lord has been bringing saints and seekers to shepherd them in my home. May the Lord continue to shepherd them and and bring them to the full knowledge of the truth.

1 Timothy 2:4

Who desires all men to be saved and to come to the full knowledge of the truth. 

A Shepherding Recovery

Two weeks ago a sister and her husband came to meet me, uniformed. I was in a hurry to take a brother for a fellowship over lunch but I had to delay it as this couple came over to fellowship with me. To my surprise, they brought some gifts of household items; bed sheets, shawls, and clothes for my wife with some monetary offering. I fellowshipped with her gently that she need not do this material favor, and yet she can freely fellowship without any hesitation. She was so glad that she could come over to meet me and offer the gifts.

She also informed me about how the Lord has been leading her husband and her in their life and how she has been  a blessing to a good number of people. She also mentioned about how she has been supplied with the ministry of the word by brother Watchman Nee and Witness Lee. She has also been leading a group of new believers and is carrying out her ministry as she flet the Lord led her that way. I simply told her that as long as she was clear about the Lord's leading she may continue to go on and I have no say otherwise. Who am I to suggest otherwise anyway? I also encouraged her to share her testimony in the upcoming gospel meeting which she readily agree.

Today, in the Friday Gospel Meeting, she shared her testimony. I am glad that she has been recovered back to the fellowship. I hope and pray that she would continue in the fellowship and fully be recovered to take a stand for the Lord and His testimony. In fact, I have a thing to confess; I literally gave her up after she deviated to some charismatic movement and mystic pursuit. I never thought that she would come back to fellowship as she felt she had a different calling and that she could not be restricted in the church life. That's why I gave her up, not knowing it would resurrect again. Meanwhile, I never gave her up in my prayer nor in my family and church prayer. Once the Lord brought someone into contact, it must have always been good for the Lord's testimony. Therefore, none should actually be given up. Only at times, in desperation of the situation in Christianity some may be temporarily given up, but in heart and in prayer, they are always there.

I hope and pray that this will lead her to the full recovery of her, her family, and all her sheep. Only the Lord knows how and when. 

The Lord is faithful to recover His chosen ones in time.

The Last Meal

In the month of June, a brother and I visited a sister who has not been keeping well physically nor spiritually. As we fellowshipped and prayed together, even calling upon the name of the Lord, she gave us lovely hospitality by requesting us to eat the meal she loving prepared for us as she knew that we would be visiting her. After the fellowship we enjoyed the meal without an iota of thought that it would be the last meal we would ever have together again.

Since then, the meeting I had was only with her son who came over to my place now and then. Today, her son called me and visited me. To my shocking surprise, he told me that his mother went to be with the Lord. On further enquiry, it was last Saturday that she breathed her last at a young age of 52. Perhaps, due to stroke or asthma attack which she has been battling all her life. A year ago she also suffered a sever inquiry in a road accident and was in coma for a couple of months. Her health had deteriorated speedily as she underwent a lot of work pressure, psychological conflict, and marital problems. All that I could do was to shepherd the family and pray for them.

Her fellowship with me was related to her health and her son's well being. She was so concerned for her son. She wanted me to take him and shepherd him under my care. But I told her it would not be proper for her son to be with me when she, his mother, was still alive and live in the same city. Though she herself was not regular in the church life, she desired that her son be in the church life. In fact, I fellowshipped with her that she firstly be a pattern to her son in loving the Lord, pursuing the Lord, and be active in the church life. Then, her son would follow suit.

Her wish, now her last wish, which she commissioned me when I met her last was, firstly, to shepherd her son in the church life, and then, secondly, find a sister in the church life to be her son's wife. In fact, one day I called up his son to check on the matter of his marriage who has already carved a career for himself and is of a marriageable age now. Today, when his son came to meet me, informing me of his mother's demise, I conveyed his mother's last wish for him.

I took this opportunity to fellowship with him about the urgent need for his spiritual recovery. I used the negative example of Steve Job who regretted successfully chasing after his dream all his life when it could not save him a bit while on his dead bed. I also used a positive example of brother Ronnie Chan, though a wealthy man, has given his life to love and serve the living God. To help him recover, I proposed that we pray and enjoy morning revival together about four times a week, which he reluctantly and finally agreed. And that he sanctify the Lord's day for the Lord to meet with the church and fellowship with the saints regularly. Finally, I lovingly and seriously warned him of the need for him to set his priority right; his first priority must be the Lord, and all the the rest, next. Spiritual life should and must be his primary concern, and all the rest of his work, career, job, money, etc., must all be secondary. Then, we prayed together. And he agreed to these points of practical fellowship.

On the one hand I am sad that sister is no more, yet on the other hand I am glad that this would be to the salvation of her son for his full recovery. The last meal I had with sister Rachna would well be remembered and I reckon that as a testament for the shepherding of his son.

May the Lord gain this brother fully for His testimony.

God's Appearing

The last weekend as we had a fellowship with a matured and elderly brother, in the leading and responsible brothers fellowship of the churches in Tamilnadu, I had the Lord's appearing again. The Lord's appearing is His visitation, His speaking the timely word to me. This time, the fellowship that touched me most was in the matter of the Lord's appearing again and again.

Acts 26:16

But rise up and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a minister and a witness both of the things in which you have seen Me and of the things in which I will appear to you; 

The Lord appeared once to Saul of Tarsus at his conversion and then the Lord promised to appear again and again to Paul. At least about seven times the Bible mentioned about the Lord's appearing to Paul. Each time He appeared, He spoke a living word to him, for his ministry, and for the fulfillment of the Lord's commission.

In a similar way, I need the Lord's appearing again and again. Perhaps, through my time spent with Him, the reading and study of the word, the pursuing of the truths, the ministry meetings, the church meetings, the fellowship with fellow believers, and through many other means, the Lord appears. I must not be blind nor deaf to His appearing. I must daily pray, "Lord, appear to me every day. Speak to me atleast a word each day."

In this way of His appearing, I would be supplied, strengthened, constituted, and would become fruitful in my Christian life and service. If all the saints, at least the brothers, are receiving the Lord's appearing time and again, the churches will be healthy and strong. There will be much increase in quantity and quality of the saints.

Lord, appear to me every day. Give me Your word every day.