Not I But Christ

“I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20, RecVer)

This is one of my favourite verses in the Bible. I have memorized this verse since the beginning of my Christian life. I have been fellowshipping, preaching, and teaching based on this verse umpteen number of times in many occasions at any places. But just a few days ago, the Lord showed my the real intrinsic meaning of this verse in a very personal and subjective way.

I can preach and I can teach others on this verse even with much clarity and conviction. But only recently, I could truly experience from the depth of my being the reality of this verse. It was the mercy of the Lord that I finally could experience the depth of this verse. 

I have been spending time with the Lord in prayer daily at a specific time. In my personal and intimate fellowship with the Lord, He show me that I indeed am nothing. Whatever has been accomplished apparently through me was actually not of me at all. Even if I ever happen to be a channel, still the actual one who accomplishes is Him only. Though I acknowledge this fact in the past, I still used to think, something of me has a part in it too. Well, that is true for God’s move is in and through man. But it is purely of God who shows mercy on the vessel He pleases to choose. The fact that He happens to choose me when He could have chosen many others is a good enough reason to realize that it was, I am not but Christ.

In the past, if I had a good living and an acceptable work at least to my own satisfaction, I still thought that something "good in me" was used by God. Though I would never acknowledge this fact openly, deep within there indeed was the feeling. So somehow, something good in me had influence on the outcome of the works accomplished. This was the hidden feeling. But now, the Lord has shown me that even in the depth of my failures, still He accomplishes His work. If it was so when I felt my living was good and proper I would somehow infer that because of my goodness the Lord pleased to use me. But now when I had the opposite experience; when I was at my lowest pit and utter sinful and shameful failure, still He uses me as when I was in my height of goodness. This proves to me that, my so called goodness or badness was not the criteria for Him to use me. Whatever my condition may be, He is still the same. In my goodness, He is. In my badness, He is. In whatever state I am in, He still is the same. So, it is not me at all, it is Christ. He is sovereign to choose whomever He wishes. Ultimately, His work is done by Him only, though through man.

Last Lord’s day, we had the last gospel meeting for the year 2023. The brothers arranged the strengthening word as my portion. In fact, this was the first time I ever participated in the gospel meeting this year. Deep within, I wish other brothers could function instead of me. That's why, I had been trying to let other brothers function more and begin to pass the baton of responsibility whatever I used to hold to other brothers. But this arrangement was made in my absence even without my consent, I accepted the Lord’s arrangement.

This time, I ceased to depend on my experience or anything related to me. I only prayed that He would speak His timely word. I am just a channel, nothing more nothing less. Yes, just a channel. I ceased from any kind of human effort to influence the outcome of this meeting. I have completely stopped that. Let the Lord speak. Let Him do His work. Not me. This was my genuine feeling and this was how I prepared for this gospel meeting. I could testify, I had not exerted any human effort this time as I used to do before. When the time came for me to function, I just let the Lord speak and follow His leading. The conclusion of the gospel meeting was, it was strong in spirit. All the saints and new ones were led to come to Jesus! This taught me one very important lesson, "Not I But Christ".

O what a relieve to learn this lesson finally! O what a grace to learn that it is not I but Christ! O what a salvation from self this is! O what a blessing to live Christ and not I!