Be Honest

 Honesty is a virtue that is much appreciated by all. But human nature is too fallen that it is rather hard to find one who is genuinely honest in all things. I am no exception. this is one thing I find very much lacking. I am by nature, not honest especially when it comes to expressing my inward desire. I always conceal my own self until I am forced to let it go. I do admire people who are honest, and I am learning to be honest too trusting in the Lord's work in my character. 

I can be honest to tell others I positively feel good about them. I can praise and speak well of others openly to their faces and to others. But can I speak about their negative points and failures too? My "good nature" always tries to conceal telling the truth if the truth is negative. Well, it may be good to cover others' weaknesses. But at times I must be honest enough to speak my heart out, call black as black and white as white. Otherwise, my diplomacy will only lead to hypocrisy.

Over the past few weeks, I had the opportunity to learn to be honest and expressed genuinely my inward feeling about things and people. One brother, who is not mentally sound turned up to the office uninformed. Due to his history, I was very careful not to welcome him as I knew it was not easy to handle him since he is also mentally out of control. I simply did not have the confidence to take care of him. Therefore, I intentionally avoided his calls and text messages as I knew his intention to try to take advantage of me being a brother in the Lord. But I seriously did not want him to play with brotherhood according to his whims and fancies. I wanted him to learn his lesson and let him know that he is not welcome at the moment with his mental state. Therefore,  I got the opportunity to express my inward feelings and I did so with honesty.

As he turned up uninformed, he had become an unwelcome guest. How would I handle such a one? I was not happy at all but was not able to express my feeling immediately. But when I got time to speak to him, I did tell him my inward feeling that he was not welcome and that he should leave. But he was smart enough to pay with words and somehow convinced me and my brother to allow him to stay for two days. After two days, though I informed him to leave as we were also leaving for about ten days, he tried to trick me with his multi-personality disorder, changing faces and characters, each one with an intent to convince me somehow that he could stay,. But I knew that this trick would not be played on me anymore and I mustered up my courage to tell him what I actually felt about him and told him that he should leave, which he finally agreed on and left. 

But he returned back uninformed and unwelcomed after ten days. This time I was determined to be honest and told him to his face, my displeasure with his behavior. Therefore I even told him to leave immediately. Of course, I did have a fellowship with my other brother concerning how to deal with a  case like that. I expressed my deep concern that I should be honest and tell him what I felt deep inside, that he was not welcomed this time with his mental state. I also knew that he was trying to somehow convince us to let him stay as he knew that we are soft brothers and that somehow in the past he would eventually convince us. But this time, I was determined not to be tricked and determined to be honest and to tell him what I felt. So I told him that he was not welcome and that he should leave. Thereafter, after much talk and discussion, he agreed to leave.

Deep within I pray for his full recovery, mentally and spiritually. But I cannot fulfill this duty either.  Therefore, I exercised myself to be honest and told him my inward feeling. I still pray for him and hope that he be recovered very soon.

I am learning to be honest and to express my inward feeling without any diplomacy. What a lesson!