Shepherding: Two Couples

Take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among whom the Holy Spirit has placed you as overseers to shepherd the church of God, which He obtained through His own blood.  Acts 20:28

Shepherd the flock of God among you, overseeing not under compulsion but willingly, according to God; not by seeking gain through base means but eagerly; 1Peter 5:2

The Lord in His sovereignty has placed me in Gurugram where I could function as a shepherd with other saints to shepherd the church. By the divine life supply, shepherding is a function with life supply and I have been enjoying it so much. Every time I shepherded someone I was being shepherded in return, and I believe the sheep were shepherded too. Recent experiences of shepherding are noteworthy.

An Unmarried Couple 

A brother and sister are in a relationship and they both are in the church life. As shepherds, we feel good to shepherd the couple in a way that they both live a life worthy of God with all purity and holiness. Falling into a romantic relationship among young people is very common both inside and outside the church life. People are with emotions and they get attracted to one another. Therefore, young people need to be preserved by proper shepherding. As much as we can, we wanted to help them to maintain a proper relationship not to violate God's ordained principles found in the Bible. 

One afternoon, some brothers had to spend hours together to shepherd this couple who are in love. For them to go on in a proper way, we wanted to help them engaged as they are not ready to get married now. But the families of both the brother and sister need to be contacted for their consent. Though the young ones are in love, they can not simply proceed to consummate their love in engagement and marriage as they wish. Everything has to be done in a manner acceptable and honorable to both God and man. Therefore, I felt blessed to be a part of the fellowship to help this couple. 

After spending time with the brother, we also fellowshipped with his family members. In the process, we experience substantial shepherding and learn new lessons in life in caring for the different needs of the saints. Yet another lesson we are to learn is from the sister's side whose parent vehemently opposes their daughter's relationship with this brother. Paradoxically, their daughter has already made up her mind to only marry this brother at the proper time. Now a situation arises in which this brother has consecrated to be trained for two years in Biblical truths and church services which required him to get properly engaged to a sister if he were already in a relationship or he has to cut all relationships for two years. It was hard for both to accept the latter. Therefore, the only option is to go for the former; to get properly engaged in the church and they can still meet once in a while even if the brother went to the training.

This matter is a new lesson for us brothers in the church, and for me personally too. I took this as an opportunity to learn new things from the Lord in caring for the need of all kinds of people. My main burden in helping them is twofold. First, for the sake of the Lord's testimony in the way we handle a case like this in the church, and second is to even shepherd the families of the couple to show them what the Lord's way of doing things is, gradually and ultimately to gain them for the Lord's testimony as well. For this, I took the time to pray, consider, fellowship, and bring in more saints to coordinate. How the matter will go depends on the Lord. By all means, through all these, I am being shepherded, and all the people involved will also be shepherded.

A Married Couple 

It has been a couple of months that a family is being shepherded. As time passed by, many things regarding the couple got revealed one by one, stage by stage. Initially, we set up a home meeting, then, the couple had issues with one another and they could not be together in the same place at the same time for a meeting. Many of their past and present issues propped up one by one. 

The sisters fellowshipped with some sisters all the issues she has been having with her husband, and the husband confided to me all the issues he has been having with his wife. Both spoke the same language in tone and content, confessing and accusing the other of the fault within that has been clogging them for years. The situation seems to get worsen by the day with the health of the sister deteriorating. Even talks of complaints against one another led to verbal abuses. They both even contemplated a divorce. Though I objected to both their proposal for divorce to their faces, I also prayed for them and considered to shepherd them that they may be reconciled and their marriage life will be recoverd.  

I took this as an oppotunity to learn from the Lord how to shepherd such a couple who openly confessed that they cannot live together anymore, and all their points sound very valid, except that the word of God which says, "the two shal become one flesh". The solution is not separation, but the expereince of the crucified Christ. Though they professed to be Christians and seem to know the word; it is more of a doctrinal knowledge with very little life expereince. My emphasize to the brothers as I shepherd him is to come back to the basics of Christian life and lerarn the fundamental truth and practices of the Christian life. I prayed with him and encouraged him to spend more time in prayer with the execrecie of the spirit, even to call upont the Lord's name. 

My last visit was with a burden to help him understand the importance of exercising the spirit and the way to exercise the spirit. So we read together, "Calling Upon the Lord's Name" booklet. This is something very basic that I felt they both need to learn. The sister also called me to share her viewpoints and her decision to go for a divorce. But I questioned her with a very basic matter on believing husband and wife to be together as one. This is a true-life case the Lord gave me to care for. I believe the Lord will come in and recover their personal spiritual life and their marital life.

Through these two couples, I am being shepherded to shepherd people who go through such situations. May the Lord as the Shepherd come in and shepherd all of us, in His way, in His time.