Concerning Step Mom

My dad had been calling me to clarify on the stand he should take based on the biblical truth concerning his marriage to my step-mom. The fact of the matter is, he was married to my step-mom thirteen years before he was baptized. In the church-life, shepherding has been carried out in a way of life with the application of the truth in time. Objective truths should be applied subjectively in life by the leading of the Holy Spirit at the right time. Though I myself had this doubt of a brother have two wives I did not get a clear answer until recently when I prayed over the matter, searched the scriptures, studied the ministry, and also fellowshipped with the brothers.

Now, through the scriptures, through the interpretation of the scripture with the ministry, and in fellowship, the Lord made things clear to me. Since my dad's second marriage was before his salvation, now that he is saved, everything of the past should have been forgiven and forgotten; whatever sins, big or small. In relation to the restitution of the past sins, if the sins involved a person, especially in marriage, it cannot be restituted. Whereas material things can be restituted and must be restituted. So there is no need to let the second wife go back as she has already been married and even bore a grown-up son already. My dad has to bear the responsibility of taking care of them both. The only concern as per the scripture is, he may not be officially appointed as an elder in the church. Nevertheless, he must function as all members of the Body should function for the building up. The matter is clear, and I have fellowshipped with the brothers concerned and also with my family members including my dad. Praise the Lord, this doubt that has been in mind for years, even decades, has finally be clarified! Praise the Lord for the ministry of the word!

This conviction has come after years of enjoying the Lord as a result of the growth in life. With the Lord's speaking through His Word, the matter has been cleared. My burden now is to shepherd my step-mon and step-brother also into the enjoyment of Christ in the church-life. And also to help other saints especially the leading brothers to be clear concerning this matter.

Collected Works of Watchman Nee, The (Set 2) Vol. 25: Collection of Newsletters (1) by Watchman NeeThe church cannot help a polygamous brother by doing anything more than forgiving him. When the Lord said that He loved mercy and abhorred sacrifices, He was referring to this matter. If the believers sinned in the matter of polygamy before they were saved, the Lord does not pursue the matter. Because no matter what the sin, whatever was committed before our regeneration is under the blood. Of course, the sin of polygamy is under the blood.

The question that has arisen in the church is whether the concubine he had should be driven out of the house. The Bible gives us some very clear light regarding this matter. Paul told Timothy, "The overseer [the elder] then must be...the husband of one wife...deacons must similarly be..." (1 Tim. 3:2, 8). So we know that among the believers at that time, there were those who were the husband of two wives. For this reason, Paul said that only the husbands of one wife could be elders and deacons. The reason the apostle said this word was to show that if a man had two wives, he could still be a believer, but he could not bear any responsibility in the church.

Furthermore, the sin of polygamy is different from other sins. There are two kinds of sin. One kind of sin can be restituted, the other cannot. The sin of polygamy cannot be restituted. For example, stolen items can be returned to their owner. But if you have married someone's daughter, you cannot return her. Therefore, if you want to send this woman away, you are telling her to be an adulteress. So it would be better if the husband bowed down under God's government and bore this responsibility.

In the Old Testament, David married Bathsheba. God did not tell David to separate from Bathsheba. Furthermore, she bore Solomon. Our Lord Jesus came out of her. Exodus 21:7-11 speaks of the position of a concubine. In this passage, the other wife refers to the proper wife, the maidservant is a concubine. The position God gives the concubine is that her food, her clothing, and her duty of marriage shall not be diminished.