Three Days and Three Nights

As I was preparing for an interview for a PhD program that I proposed to do, the Lord granted me a wonderful experience of His tender loving care. Somehow I had been waiting for a time when I could finally do my PhD in a reputed university. How spiritual this dream of mine were, only the Lord knows. Nevertheless, my academic zeal had consumed me to prepare well when I discovered that I was selected for an interview. But time was a big issue to deal with. 

Already a father of three, with official, family and church responsibility, at time I wondered how would I ever manage my time to be faithful to all the present responsibilities. This was the very question a brother asked if I ever have to venture into research laboratory. My vague answer was, "let's see..."

Even at the very preparatory level, I was already too busy with many things at hand. I could hardly find time even to prepare for the interview, at least, to brush up the technical knowledge of Computer Science of which I received my master's degree twelves years ago. Then how would it be possible if I really have to research? I was brought in the horns of a dilemma - to do or not to do. 

For three days and three nights I was under intense pressure; I could not sleep well and was very much bothered by this. It was an experience as if I were "Jonah into the whale's belly" for three days and three nights. At times, I would just went out to pray and ask the Lord if it was His perfect will. But the Lord was wise in just shepherding me with neither yes nor no. My act of going to him in prayer was the answer of my prayer. God, perhaps, was least bothered with a yes or no, but His heart was to gain me by all means possible. Whether this way or that way, He has to gain me fully at all cost. At least for this little maturity, I was not troubled whether things go my way or not. 

Finally I decided to give a try, and I did. Then, the Lord really opened my eyes to see the true nature of things, of my self and of what I intend to pursue. A very intriguing question was, would I really be happy as a fish out of the water? Presently, that was exactly my case if I ever have to go ahead. After this experience I decided to spend more time on the service the Lord assigned me at the most and not to take more assignment which may not be healthy at all psychologically, physically and spiritually. 

My hands are already full with official responsibility of bringing up the company I am in, Greek courses going on with five years project of the Bible translation into various Indian languages, the work of shepherding the saints and new ones, gospel preaching and family matters. Only if the Lord graciously give enough time in the future I can consider, otherwise, I had to contently call it quit to my own proposal. It was painful though, but worth the experience. Yes, the experience of a three days and three nights.

Lord, preserve me in Your presence all the time.