Be Honest

 Honesty is a virtue that is much appreciated by all. But human nature is too fallen that it is rather hard to find one who is genuinely honest in all things. I am no exception. this is one thing I find very much lacking. I am by nature, not honest especially when it comes to expressing my inward desire. I always conceal my own self until I am forced to let it go. I do admire people who are honest, and I am learning to be honest too trusting in the Lord's work in my character. 

I can be honest to tell others I positively feel good about them. I can praise and speak well of others openly to their faces and to others. But can I speak about their negative points and failures too? My "good nature" always tries to conceal telling the truth if the truth is negative. Well, it may be good to cover others' weaknesses. But at times I must be honest enough to speak my heart out, call black as black and white as white. Otherwise, my diplomacy will only lead to hypocrisy.

Over the past few weeks, I had the opportunity to learn to be honest and expressed genuinely my inward feeling about things and people. One brother, who is not mentally sound turned up to the office uninformed. Due to his history, I was very careful not to welcome him as I knew it was not easy to handle him since he is also mentally out of control. I simply did not have the confidence to take care of him. Therefore, I intentionally avoided his calls and text messages as I knew his intention to try to take advantage of me being a brother in the Lord. But I seriously did not want him to play with brotherhood according to his whims and fancies. I wanted him to learn his lesson and let him know that he is not welcome at the moment with his mental state. Therefore,  I got the opportunity to express my inward feelings and I did so with honesty.

As he turned up uninformed, he had become an unwelcome guest. How would I handle such a one? I was not happy at all but was not able to express my feeling immediately. But when I got time to speak to him, I did tell him my inward feeling that he was not welcome and that he should leave. But he was smart enough to pay with words and somehow convinced me and my brother to allow him to stay for two days. After two days, though I informed him to leave as we were also leaving for about ten days, he tried to trick me with his multi-personality disorder, changing faces and characters, each one with an intent to convince me somehow that he could stay,. But I knew that this trick would not be played on me anymore and I mustered up my courage to tell him what I actually felt about him and told him that he should leave, which he finally agreed on and left. 

But he returned back uninformed and unwelcomed after ten days. This time I was determined to be honest and told him to his face, my displeasure with his behavior. Therefore I even told him to leave immediately. Of course, I did have a fellowship with my other brother concerning how to deal with a  case like that. I expressed my deep concern that I should be honest and tell him what I felt deep inside, that he was not welcomed this time with his mental state. I also knew that he was trying to somehow convince us to let him stay as he knew that we are soft brothers and that somehow in the past he would eventually convince us. But this time, I was determined not to be tricked and determined to be honest and to tell him what I felt. So I told him that he was not welcome and that he should leave. Thereafter, after much talk and discussion, he agreed to leave.

Deep within I pray for his full recovery, mentally and spiritually. But I cannot fulfill this duty either.  Therefore, I exercised myself to be honest and told him my inward feeling. I still pray for him and hope that he be recovered very soon.

I am learning to be honest and to express my inward feeling without any diplomacy. What a lesson!

This New Year

This new year's day, I was on a train with all my family members returning from our South India blending trip. Generally, on this day, I would be in a new year meeting but this time I was fully confined within the berth of my sleeper class train and spent my day in prayer and the word of God. I was glad that I had sufficient time to read the Bible and sufficient time to pray. In fact, I had the entire day to myself and the Lord alone on a train. This new year was unique.

I made no resolution for I don't believe in them anymore. But I did have a review of the past year and reconsecrated my life to the Lord afresh. I never made up my mind for anything just because it's a new year. I simply open myself to the Lord as I would on any other day, to receive the divine dispensing of the divine Trinity into my tripartite being. This is the best way to spend the new year.

One thing I notice this new year 2023 is, that I began the year with prayer and the word along with something challenging. As the church, I was fully disappointed that we did not gain an increase as we ought to, I mean in terms of the number of saints meeting regularly.  Though we prayed and labored much, the increase did not happen. Perhaps, the Lord had to deal with me and many of us to break the hindrances within our being. This I feel is the biggest discouragement and also the biggest challenge for this new year. 

Personally too, I felt I began the year with a minus point and looking forward to seeing it become plus and keep improving.  For this, I can only pray and hope for the best. May the Lord have mercy on me and grant me a new beginning this new year.

So then if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away; behold, they have become new. 2 Co 5:17

In my official service, I selected this Bible verse to pray-read with my brothers who serve with me in sweet coordination. Though we could not really achieve what we intended to achieve last year in terms of our distribution service, we encouraged ourselves in prayer to have a new beginning, forgetting and leaving the old things behind and looking forward to new things in Christ. We all prayed and pray-read together and looked to the Lord for His new beginning in each one of our services.

Even concerning all the new ones that I had been shepherding last year, though they could not really enter into the church life last year itself, with much hope, I pray that the Lord would shepherd them all into the church this new year. This too, I do by faith in Him.

Lord, may You accomplish all that You wish to accomplish this new year in me and through me, in us and through us as the church! In Christ, a new creation, Lord this new year!

Twenty Years of God's Grace

Twenty years have elapsed since the Lord called me to serve Him full-time. It was December 31 night 2002 when in my Selaiyur Hostel I was burdened to pray just for one thing, "Lord, what is Your will for my life?" I had no appetite for food nor for anything else except prayer. At about 5 PM in the afternoon I left my hostel for the prayer hall at Tambaram East. There I attended the evening prayer meeting and after everyone left, I requested the caretaker of the premise to allow me to stay the whole night as I wanted to pray and pray. There, I was the only person in the meeting hall. The whole night I walked through the length and breadth of the campus over and over again, just praying for one thing, God’s will.

I was to graduate from my MCA degree in a few months' time. I need to make a decision for my life. I had three choices before me; job, PhD, or full-time service. As a student of MCA, campus recruitment started and in fact, I got a call letter for interview from two software companies even without my applying for it. But the Lord did not lead me at all for software engineering job. Neither did the Lord lead me for PhD studies though one of my teachers suggested and promised to help me out. Therefore, I was all the more troubled what I was supposed to do. This led me to pray and pray and pray. Thank God, I knew only one way, prayer. Perhaps, that's the best way!

After the whole night prayer on 31st December night 2002, on 1st Jan 2003 the Lord’s call came through my reading of the Bible after my prayer.

“And now, O Israel, what does Jehovah your God ask of you except that you fear Jehovah your God so that you would walk in all His ways and love Him and serve Jehovah your God with all your heart and with all your soul;” (Deuteronomy 10:12, RecVer)

As His call was, so His leading has always been the best. Till today, He has been faithfully leading me in His full-time service. What a blessing! What a privilege!

When He called me, I was just 24, stepping out of University with a Master's degree in Computer Science. Now, I am a married man with three blessed children. Still He has been gracing me and blessing me in His service. What else can I say but, "Thank You, Lord Jesus!"

Twenty years of service in His vineyard, twenty years of enjoying His blessing, twenty years of learning and perfecting. Twenty years of God’s grace. Thank You Lord Jesus for all these twenty Years of experiencing and enjoying You!

Blending Trip

For the first time in our church life in Gurugram, we undertook a blending trip to the South taking advantage of the National Colleger Training held in Chennai. Though I myself had no service in this training, for the sake of blending I registered myself as a serving of the College students from my locality. Likewise, other saints too registered in one service or the other. This blending trip did not come without paying a price as I myself lost my Bible bag on the first day of the trip at New Delhi train station and my daughter fainted due to weakness and car sickness as we reached the train station. In the midst of the crowd and huge pieces of luggage, we paid all the price we could to attend this training and blending. Our sleeper class train journey from Delhi to Chennai took us about 32 hours and from Tirunelveli to Delhi, about 48 hours.  All these hours were also utilized for blending apart from the sleeping time. The train journey itself was the time for blending especially for the children as they all enjoyed so much spending time together playing. Some saints also spent time in fellowshipping, and we had ample time together sharing food and fellowshipping together.

During the training itself, I had the opportunity to blend with a brother with whom I started praying together and we have now become prayer partners. All the saints had their own share of the meeting as each one has their own meeting based on the service they registered for.

After the training, our blending trip started from Chennai itself. We visited  Marina Beach in Chennai, dined together at Sangeetha Restaurant near Egmore Station, and travel overnight to Tenkasi. In Tenkasi, we visited a famous waterfall, Courtralam, had lunch at a famous South Indian cuisine at the border of Tamilnadu and Kerala, and then went sightseeing and shopping. In the evening we had a time of blending with the church in Tenaksi where a specific burden on attending the annual feast was released. Finally, we left for Tirunelveli where we were given hospitality.

The next day, we had a love feast breakfast with some saints at a restaurant and went for an ocean boat ride in the Bay of Bengal, visited a fishing harbor, and had a love feast lunch with the church in Tuticorin. After a few sightseeing at the beach and a boat repairing factory, we had a meeting with the church in Tenkasi where a specific burden for the young people was released.

My Goodland: Fellowship at Tuticorin (palmeichung.blogspot.com)

Then we traveled back to Tirunelveli for the night stay. The following day, after breakfast we had a four-hour-long meeting with the saints in the church in Tirunelveli where a specific burden was again released for the saints in general, followed by a love feast, after which we visited an ice cream factory and got ready to leave.

My Goodland: Fellowship at Tirunelveli (palmeichung.blogspot.com)

The entire blending trip lasted for about eleven days and it did not come without paying a price. Most of the saints got sick either during the training and blending trip or the train journey. Nevertheless, we all gain something of Christ in this trip through the many fellowships on the word of God and meeting with the saints. Blending has a price tag too! Just pay a little price and enjoy all the benefits. Now looking forward to another blending trip to happen again in His time.

 Praise the Lord for the blending in the Body!

Fellowship at Tirunelveli

As the church in Gurugram, we took a church blending trip to Tirunelveli for two days. The saints gave us wonderful love-feast at different places and took us sightseeing too. Two remarkable places were a fishing boat ride in the ocean (Bay of Bengal). In fact, this was our first ocean boat ride. It was such a thrilling experience that all of us may never forget this experience. Then a visit to an ice cream factory where we were briefed on the process of making ice cream and were treated with two types and flavors of ice cream. But the most memorable time was our time of blending at the meeting hall of the church in Tirunelveli where our meeting lasted for over four hours from 10:00 AM till 2:00 PM.

Initially, the local saints shared their practices of the children meeting, young people meeting and some of their new learning in the church life. Then the time was given to the church in guru Gurugram where a couple of us shared some specific burdens. Two sisters shared on taking care of the children meeting and young people meeting, and I was assigned to share the burden of the upcoming video training. As I listened to one of the sisters' sharing her experience of coming from Gurugram to Tirunelveli for her studies, I was inspired by the will of God that led her to do so. Therefore, I had the burden to share on seeking God's will first and released the burden of the training.

I share four points on seeking God's will as I learned from Brother Watchman Nee and also from the experiences I have in seeking God's will in my life for many matters.

1. God's inward leading through the living Holy Spirit by inward peace and life.
2. God's outward leading through the written Holy Bible by the truth revealed in the word of God
3. Fellowship in the Body of Christ to cross-check and confirm the inward and outward leading.
4. Circumstantial evidences to further confirm the leading of the Lord.

Then, I shared from Leviticus 23 on the seven annual feasts and released the burden on preparing oneself to dive into the up-to-date speaking of the Lord through the semiannual training on the book of 1&2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther.

After all the fellowship, we left the city by train and arrived back home in Gurugram after forty-eight hours of a train journey. Though many of us fell sick on the way, I personally felt it was worth all the prices we were able to pay. This was our first-ever trip as the church by train to the South.

While going I lost my Holy Bible Recovery Version bag along with my Bible inside. But this made me buy five new Holy Bible Recovery Version and gift one to my wife, my niece, myself, one to a brother who completed reading the New Testament Recovery Version with footnotes for which I promised to give a reward, and one extra Bible for whoever may need it.

Praise the Lord for this blending trip! 

Fellowship at Tuticorin

As the church in Gurugram, we took a church blending trip to Tuticorin for one day from Tirunelveli. The saints gave us a love-feast and took us to different places for sightseeing. After all the outings, an evening meeting was arranged for a time of blending and fellowship. There, a brother asked me to share for the young people especially, on behalf of the church. As I considered what to share, the Lord gave me three main points with three sub-points under each main burden. They  are:

Christian Life

1. Be revived daily to live an overcoming life everyday

2. Prayer, especially set time for personal prayer time with the Lord alone

3. Bible Reading and Study

Church Life

1. Participate in all the church meetings, if possible, especially, the young people meeting

2. Preach the gospel to save sinners

3. Perfect the newones through shepherding

Career

1.  Get the best and the highest education and be hard working

2. Consecrate your life to the Lord, even join the two-years full-time training after graduation

3. Warning: Do not be distracted by the world, friends, and affairs

“The younger men likewise exhort to be of a sober mind, Concerning all things presenting yourself as a pattern of good works: in your teaching showing incorruption, gravity,” (Titus 2:6-7, RecVer)

I gave Paul as an example of someone who was highly educated and was used by the Lord to write 14 epistles in contrast to Peter who was a fisherman. 

“I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia but brought up in this city and trained at the feet of Gamaliel, according to the strictness of the law of our fathers, being zealous for God, even as you all are today.” (Acts 22:3, RecVer)

Then, I concluded by reading these verses followed by consecration prayer where a good number of saints prayed and consecrated their lives to the Lord afresh.

“But in a great house there are not only gold and silver vessels but also wooden and earthen; and some are unto honor, and some unto dishonor. If therefore anyone cleanses himself from these, he will be a vessel unto honor, sanctified, useful to the master, prepared unto every good work. But flee youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:20-22, RecVer)

I was glad that the Lord gave me burdens and that I could release those burdens with all faithfulness. It was up to the Lord to touch those who need to be touched. I do believe that those burdens were very specific and a good number of the saints especially the young people must have been very impressed as evidenced by the consecration prayer at the end. May the Lord gain all the young people there for His testimony.  

Fellowship: Affairs

Fellowship is the way to deal with issues and problems in life among believers.  When I discovered that things were not right with one of my family members, I considered before the Lord and checked what I should do about it. After much prayer, the Lord gave me a clear sky; to fellowship the matter to the concerned person. Though I would like to avoid getting into other's personal matters, when they affect the testimony of the Lord and affects my family too, I had no choice but to fellowship and sort things out.

One evening for over two hours I had to speak out what was in my heart to a sister who entangled herself in an affair. I dared not touch the brother yet as my responsibility first is to my household members and set my family in order. The affair per se is not the main cause of concern, but the way it was done and the person involved is not proper. The brother had actually been engaged to another sister and that is the main cause of concern.  That engagement became the main problem as this leads to unfaithfulness, unrighteousness, and even unholiness. In the Bible, engagement is the initiation of marriage. It is even reckoned as marriage which eventually will transpire in time.

When a person has an affair, he or she would not mind hiding and lying about it altogether. The affair has caused spiritual blindness and would adamantly not be willing to give up. But I had to reason and beg to give up such an affair as I care for the Lord's testimony above their own feelings whatsoever. Factual evidence cannot be nullified for emotional feelings. Feelings come and go, they keep changing, but facts do not change. Most of these feelings are just natural; out of the fallen flesh and untransformed emotion. As far as I know the truth of human nature and God's words, I strongly disapprove of such improper affair and even I rebuked severely the person I was fellowshipping with, to the point that she was brought to tears. It was hard to deal with such, but I had to do it. 

On the one hand, I pray for the Lord to set things right, and on the other hand, I have to do what I need to do as a man. What I felt best I did with my best and what else I could not I left to the Lord to deal with it. I cannot blindly leave the matter to God and do nothing. I had to be God's mouthpiece to speak according to the truth revealed in the Bible concerning relationships; especially to condemn improper relationships. If the watchman did not sound the warning bell, the judgment will be upon the watchman; but if the watchman did sound the weaning bell and the people did not pay heed, the onus is squarely on the people themselves. That's what I did. And I did it at least ten times already. I would not let things slip by as long as it is in my hands to do so.

Having done all that I could do, I still beg the person I am talking to, to pay heed to the warnings. Meanwhile, I have been all prayers for the Lord to come in and change the heart of the persons involved. I pray that they would be delivered from their blindness and darkness and be brought into the light where all improper affairs are cut-off and relationships would not be beyond being brothers and sisters in the Lord. In this fellowship, I myself learn a lot of lessons. 

May the Lord honor all the fellowship and may the person concerned too honor all the fellowship for her own good. May the Lord gain the victory among us so that His testimony be maintained holy through us, His believers.