A Brother's Dream

On morning I received a surprise message on WhatsApp, and after reading the message, one important thing transpired in me, in real life, which was foreseen by an old friend of mine during college days, a decade ago.

The text message reads:

[14/12, 10:24] : I was dreaming about u

[14/12, 10:43] : I saw that we r staying in some sort of a hostel and suddenly one of the guys went to your room and challenge u for a fight. So there was a fight between u and that guy and I was lying in my room. Immediately, both of you who was fighting came to my room and told me that u guys have to do some rituals to settle the matter. So all of u guys start kneeling down and uttered some words from a language unknown to me. After a while you compromised the matter with that whom u were fighting and handshake each other. While u guys were uttering some word I was so scared that I start praying and holding u and I was so relieved to see u both handshake each other later. After that, both of you left my room and I was alone again. Suddenly one lady came to my room and tempted me to fall into an adultery with her. At that moment there was a hesitation from me but the saddest thing is I fall into the temptation. That very moment I heard my wife calling my name from outside and I left that lady. 

At that very moment I woke up.

I was really really sad. I sat down on my bed and start crying asking the Lord to forgive me. I was praying and begging for forgiveness and weeping on my bed.

Then I heard my wife had also woke up. So I called her to come to my room. She came and I told her everything about my dream. I told her that I have failed the test n I have sin. I told my wife please pray for me.

Dear brother Palmei, back these days I feel very happy and peaceful after confessing all my past sin to my wife. For the last four weeks I so happy and peaceful.

But my dream had made me realised that I have given my heart fully to Jesus. I have just left Him outside my room.

Brother, please pray for me so that I would be string in the Lord.

[14/12, 10:46] : I mean Strong in the Lord

[14/12, 10:51] : My dream made me realise that I have not given my heart fully to Jesus. Instead I left Him outside my room and He is still calling my name.

Please pray for my spiritual life so that I'd  be strong in the Lord.

After I read the message, I called him and we prayed together.

Perhaps, it might just be a dream. Nevertheless, dreams can also be from God or the enemy or from the self. On pondering over it, I realised that there was a message in the dream. 

The date was 14th December, the day in which one of the brothers which I have been so burdened for, won the election as he re-entered politics. There indeed has been a struggling, perhaps, a spiritual fight, for the recovery of the golden lampstand in that city since I first met him and the believers in that locality. At least thrice, I was personally involved in the fellowship of "reconciliation" among the brothers who, for some reasons, have been under the guise of "misunderstandings." 

And when this brother decided to take the way he has taken, I sincerely prayed for him that the Lord would lead him through, and that the church would go on in sweet fellowship with the Body of Christ in other parts of the world even outside of their locality. And when on that day he won the election, I praised the Lord, not for the election per se, but for His leading for His move. This was symbolic of what a friend had seen in the dream.

The later part of the dream may be a matter of concern related to his personal life which also was good as it led him closer to the Lord, and initiated a fresh brotherly relationship with me, and I believe, a fresher love towards the Lord and his wife.

Pressed!

These days the Lord has been dealing with me in a very specific way, in all areas of my life. But His grace is sufficient for me to bear all the precious trials He soverignly arranges. On the one hand I have been deeply pressed, yet on the other hand, I have been experiencing the Lord's perfecting hand in every step, graced with His divine provision to bear His dealings.

My two Onesimus's have been creating a lot of trouble these few days, outwardly speaking. Both of them have been undergoing their worst case and exhibiting extremities in their deeds. Nevertheless, they turn out to be precious lessons for me to learn, in handling them practically. Generally, I have been a quite and patient person, but with these two, I have been exposed of my shortages. I was not quiet nor patient at all as I used to presume. This time round I have said thing which I never used to, and even raised voice which I hardly used to. Perhaps, a training to be more strict and tough in dealing with "disobedient brothers?" and at the same time an exposition of me who needs more learning, perfecting and growth in life. Despite this scenario, I love them both so much, and consider them as God's blessing in disguise, at least to me, if not to my family as well.

Officially, I have made official decisions that put the company I am serving in a very tight spot as far as financial matter is concerned. Yet, those decisions were truly needed to effectively accomplish solid official works. I never remembered having been so bold in making corporate decisions. But those decision are yielding good returns for the company, only "time of return" is the factor to consider. Its like rowing a boat safely to the other side of a stormy and thunderous sea with so much gasps and uncertainties in between. Now, at the fag end of the year, I could foresee sailing through all obstacles. The hand of God indeed is behind the scene. The prize foreseen is worth the prices paid.

Family matters are pressing too. In taking care of the two Onesimus's, the extra burden they brought to my wife and niece, and the anxious concerns for them, and the helpless state they have been into, are pressing too. But these also led me to change my stance towards them and adjusted my life style; which actually is very good for me and my family. So even in these "troubles,"  we are the beneficiaries, especially myself.

Church affairs are even at trying times. We have been busy with our own official and family affairs, and the church affairs are not given proper attention and sufficient time as it should normally be. Besides, we do not have official full timer to fully serve the local church we are in; we are all working saints bearing the burden of the church. Though this fact cannot be an excuse, the increase of the church in numbers is not happening, which we all shamefully agreed. Though our burdens are clears, we have failed in not being able to fulfill it. Or perhaps, the Lord wants us to learn some precious lessons first before He could bless the church? The matter of "not increase in numbers" is definitely and deeply pressing upon me. 

All these "pressings" are persistently pressing me. This reminds me of Simon Peter in John 6, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life." I can come only to the Lord, and to Him only I come, in this pressing time. 

66 From that time many of His disciples went back to what they left behind and no longer walked with Him.67 Jesus therefore said to the twelve, Do you also want to go away?68 Simon Peter answered Him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.       

Two Onesimus's

Onesimus was an useful vessel to Paul and to the Lord despite his black background. I already have one whom the Lord gifted to me to shepherd and care for. Through many ups and downs, he still is my Onesimus. And now the Lord is adding another Onesimus. Its not my choice to accept or reject, rather it is the Lord's blessed gift.

A brother was in a very desperate need for wholesome shepherding. Again because of the many distressful and inexplicable experiences he had been through since his first failed marriage, he was in the depth of depression and often lost his mental balance. Now he is facing another marital disaster, and history seems to repeat itself. All these bitter bombardments blasted and bruised his brain. 

But he is a very dear brother in the Lord, who loves the Lord, and is beginning to intensely love the Lord all the more through all these sufferings. He has survived serious series of legal battles and are now in the verge of another series. Be it fate or folly in his decision making, only God knows. But the fact is, he's been mentally, physically and financially drained off. And the fact that he is still a brother does not change. No matter what he has gone through, no matter what his problems may be, he is still a brother, in fact, a very dear brother. I begin to love him all the more, then when he was much better off. Despite his dire strait of human hardship, he still is a brother. So I must receive him and shepherd him in all possible way. He, thus, has been added to our family as another Onesimus.

The two Onesimus's are now with our family, and in fact, they are blending with us so well, so far so good. These two are suprisingly of two opposite nature, origin and character, almost in every respect. One from a high caste, very well educated, intelligent and very qualified person, and the other almost the exact opposite. But praise the Lord, through inexplicable circumstances, they both ended up to be a part of our extended family. This arrangement was never forethought, it just transpired in time, and me and my wife can only amen. This, to me, is meeting the need of the moment. Else, where else they will go?

I have been learning many new and deep spiritual lessons through these two Onesimus's. The lessons were learned through their problems. They were helpless, and I in their midst, to shepherd them, turned to Lord and the Lord taught me some deep and precious lessons which, I believe, can never be learned otherwise.  It even revolutionized my living and ways of shepherding. I have been praying for people to be saved and shepherded, and the Lord gave me brothers who are saved and are need of shepherding; not in a way of once or twice meeting in a week with some prayer and pursuing, but in a way of living together with him. Perhaps, this is the best way of shepherding, and I am learning it, and I guess, I am loving it too. I have been doing it in the past too, but this time in a more matured way. Praise the Lord for this opportunity!  

Today, as I was spending time with the Lord in prayer, He impressed me deeply with shepherding and perfecting these two Onesimus's. Doing a background check, they both are literally helpless and hopeless, and their own relatives have literally gave them up. But the Lord's speaking to me was, if I cannot shepherd hopeless and helpless ones to become hopeful and helpful ones, I am useless. This was a very strong word from the Lord. My innate reply was that the Lord would shepherd me and them together and make us hopeful, helpful and useful. Sometimes, the speaking of the Lord is sudden and shocking, yet soothing and shepherding too.

Though I deem myself unworthy, I trust the good shepherd to shepherd all of us. These experiences, perhaps, may be my "Tale of Two Onesimus's." 

Lord, shepherd us all, and turn us- 

Our helplessness to helpfulness,

Our hopelessness to hopefulness,

Our uselessness to usefulness.

And dear Lord, do these to us.

Amen. 

Life Lessons

What has transpired of me, I do not know. Whether for good or for bad, only God knows. I seem to have changed in the way I do things and deal with business affairs. By and large, I have been a very soft person, always graceful to others even at the cost of misjudgment. I always like to be gracious to others as much as I could and defended their cause if questioned. But things seems to have changed. I hope for the better. 

In official matter, I think I ought to be strict and straightforward. Often many have taken advantage of this, which definitely has a kickback. But recently, I learned my lessons of not to be too soft. When duty demands it I have to be tough, yes, real tough. But there must be a striking balance between being soft and being tough. I am learning this lesson, and hope I learn it well. 

A brother who has come for food and shelter has often taken advantage of me. As he took me for a ride I had to help him learn his lessons as well. So whenever necessary I was strict with him. In matters related to handling his finance, time management, cleanliness and discipline, I was strict and demanded that he adhere to it, should he desire a help. Brotherly love cannot be taken for granted, and "it's OK" attitude must be rectified. So I spoke a strong word to this brother to take care of his things and his living. Though I spoke such a strong word, deep within my heart I wish he would learn his lesson and be normalised and be established as a proper man. Even with such words, my heart yearns for him, that he be established and "pillarised" to bear the Lord's testimony. 

Another incident was when our office gas company worker unduly asked for service charge when no service was done, and when I requested him to replace the gas pipe he put aside by saying it's OK, but he said it needed to be replaced in his first visit. This outright lie I could not tolerate and refused to pay the service charge for no service. He threatened to cut the connection, but I retorted that he change the pipe first. Then in fits and fear he left. Later, I thought to myself, am I so tough? I did feel sorry for the strong word I uttered, yet at the same time, I felt it was necessary for me to exercise in such way to deal with money-monger. 

Another case was with my own family, when to discipline my children I began to be strict with them. Often I did use strong words of rebuke and chastening. And oftentimes with punishment. Though I did all these outwardly, my inward being was yearning for them that they be disciplined and be God-man children. As and when necessary, I exercised strict discipline upon them. Sometimes, I often do the same to my wife in few matters, not much, even as she does to me a couple of times. We love each other and chastened one another. 

By all these experiences I am learning to handle matters as it should be. But I am willing to be corrected or adjusted. This experience is not so sweet, but needful for my growth in life. These are what have been transpiring these days. Hope it all will work out for good.

Lessons of life are for all man;

For all sinner and saint

Amidst its pain and gain, 

They must be learned now and then, 

In this journey of life, till the end. 

Ghaziabad

Last month in a Christian Expo, I met a brother who impressed me much, both in spirit and in the body, with whom I also fellowshipped twice, and he showed much interest in the ministry of the word. My first impression was, perhaps, he must be the one for the Lord's testimony in Ghaziabad? Only God knows. 

Few day back, with a brother we went to visit him at his house in Ghaziabad. When I heard his sharing on his feeling concerning "feet washing" in John 13, I took the opportunity to minister on the same subject. I ministered on love as the basis for feet washing, accompanied with humility and being judged by God to be able to wash the brothers' feet. Yet for such,  one must have the basin with water for the washing. We read the Bible verses with footnotes from the Recovery Version of the Bible. Water here signifies the Holy Spirit (Titus 3:5), the word (Eph. 5:26; John 15:3), and life (19:34). These are what we need to wash our brothers' foot with. Without the Holy Spirit, the word of God and the divine life as the "water" first being constituted in us, how can we washed our brother's feet. Here lies the necessity for a proper and normal Christian life. And this matter of foot washing should not be a ritual nor a ceremony, but a daily living for fellowshipping with God and with one another. 

Later, we fellowshipped on Christ and the church with personal experiences of Christ and the church life. I personally have a very good feeling about this brother, especially in the matter of his hunger for the word of God and purity to stand for the Lord's testimony. 

Though there are other people we could have met, but this brother was the one so far we had much peace to meet with. If there are more whom the Lord has chosen, time will manifest them one by one. 

Only God knows who a person is and what his future holds; I can only look to the Lord and pray that He may gain him for His testimony in Ghaziabad. By the way, this is one of the cities in National Capital Region, for which we have been praying for the Lord's strong testimony. Perhaps, this is an answer to our prayer for Ghaziabad. May the Lord gain His heart's desire. 

Poignant Politics

Of late I have been feeling the air of politics regionally, nationally, and even internationally. Generally, I used to be aloof from all political influence. Gradually, I was burdened to pray for the rulers  of the nation. And often I follow the current affairs in the light of the Lord's move on the earth. 

Meddling in politics itself will be a far cry, but I do pray that the Lord’s chosen ones be rulers to run the nation for the sake of the gospel. But one danger I just discovered was the evil of politics. It can just divide friends and families alike, including brothers and sisters even in the church. 

Most recently, I was hit inwardly by this matter of the venom of politics. It was one Lord’s day when a sister stood up and shared her views concerning a certain President-elect in support of his rival. It was so ugly and the feeling was nauseating. Though we may have inclination towards certain party or candidate but that should never be a topic for the brothers and sisters to debate. It's terribly loathsome. Every citizen of a nation has the right to vote, and let that remain democratically exercised in a secret ballot, and not in the church. Satan is so subtle to use politics to divide the church of God. And we must no be ignorant of his scheme. 

Conventionally I am inclined to a certain party as a family and inwardly I still support them for their policy on national governance. But now, the opposite party that I would never imagine to support because of their ideology is gaining my attention, not nationally though, but regionally. Some of my distant relatives are themselves office bearers and candidates for the  upcoming election in my hometown. This gave me a new horizon of looking at things; not on the party per se but on the candidate himself. When the old guard and political stalwarts of the party our family supported for years does not perform well and are embroiled in dirty politics, loaded with incumbency and corruption, and they would not pave way for the young generation, then person comes above party. This simple feeling itself is proof of how politics can divide people and be a satanic tool. Lord save me. 

Yes, pray for the rulers and for God's move and have your support expressed in secret ballot but never give room to the enemy to divide. Else it will be a poignant tragedy. As in my case, my acquaintances are in both parties, opposite parties.

Herein, I learned my lesson of not paving way for poignant politics, but be preserved in prayer for the Lord's move. This is a simple lesson I learned in the light of being a man, a citizen of a nation, physically.

The Increase of Christ

John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

Note from the Recovery Version: The increase in this verse is the bride in v. 29, and the bride there is a living composition of all the regenerated people. This means, in this chapter on regeneration, that regeneration not only brings the divine life into the believers and annuls the satanic nature in their flesh, but it also makes them the corporate bride for Christ's increase. The last two points, the annulling of the serpentine nature in the believers and the believers' being made the bride of Christ, are fully developed in John's Revelation. The book of Revelation reveals mainly how Satan as the old serpent will be fully eliminated (Rev. 20:2, 10) and how Christ's bride, the New Jerusalem, will be fully produced (Rev. 21:2, 10-27).

Acts 2: 47 Praising God and having grace with all the people. And the Lord added together day by day those who were being saved.16:5 And so the churches were strengthened in the faith and increased in number daily.

Fruit bearing is one of the matters of concern as far as my service in the Lord is concerned. Which means, there must be growth in Christ by growing in life inwardly and there must also be growth in number outwardly. Else there must be something wrong. And that "something" which went wrong or goes wrong is a grave concern. This is my self assessment as well as from an elderly and more matured brother. I thank the Lord for showing me where I truly stands, so that I may learn and know how to move forward from this point on. This exposition dawned on me my need for serious learning in serving the Lord. I cannot just be barren, that's not only a shame, but a disaster--a spiritual disaster. I may have reasonable and valid excuses, but I will not tolerate the barrenness. Barrenness is a symptom of death. Anything living must grow, both inwardly and outwardly.

Christ increase is not merely measured inwardly. Yes, He definitely must grow, besides, there must be increase in numbers of saved believers, the bride. The increase of Christ is the increase of the bride; the increase of the bride is the increase of the believers in numbers of the regenerated believers. This word of the Lord is backed with testimonies of the early church. "The Lord added together day by day those who were being saved" and "increased in number daily." This is the real increase of Christ. This must be my experience too. Nothing less is acceptable and must not be tolerated.

The message for me and the church I am in is this only, "the increase of Christ." All lame excuses for not increasing according to the word is lifeless. My prayer and the church's prayer has henceforth been for the increase of Christ. All that hinders the increase of Christ must be diagnosed and remedied. Thank God, these days I am in this process and the saints too. May the Lord heal and gain His increase for His testimony.

The increase of Christ is the increase in numbers, which is the increase of the church. Where there is an increase of Christ, there will be the increase of the church in numbers as well. Though all increases in numbers may not necessarily be the increase of Christ, but the increase of Christ must necessarily lead to the increase in numbers. One should not be so spiritual as to focus only on the inward increase of Christ without the outward increase in number. The more the increase in Christ inwardly, there more there will be the increase in numbers outwardly. For when one grows in Christ, he will be burdened to preach the gospel and bring people to salvation. Furthermore, he will shepherd, buildup and perfect the new ones to be the increase of Christ as the bride, the church. This is a normal and proper condition of a Christian life in a normal church life, and this is the fruit-bearing in John 15:4-5, 7-8. 

The outward tangible way of measuring the increase of Christ is the number of the saints in the meeting. Quality comes out of quantity. Without quantity, there can be no quality. It is mere folly to pride on quality when there is no quantum of quantity.

Lord, save me from mere spirituality. My need is the increase of Christ in quality as much as in quantity.