Pressed!

These days the Lord has been dealing with me in a very specific way, in all areas of my life. But His grace is sufficient for me to bear all the precious trials He soverignly arranges. On the one hand I have been deeply pressed, yet on the other hand, I have been experiencing the Lord's perfecting hand in every step, graced with His divine provision to bear His dealings.

My two Onesimus's have been creating a lot of trouble these few days, outwardly speaking. Both of them have been undergoing their worst case and exhibiting extremities in their deeds. Nevertheless, they turn out to be precious lessons for me to learn, in handling them practically. Generally, I have been a quite and patient person, but with these two, I have been exposed of my shortages. I was not quiet nor patient at all as I used to presume. This time round I have said thing which I never used to, and even raised voice which I hardly used to. Perhaps, a training to be more strict and tough in dealing with "disobedient brothers?" and at the same time an exposition of me who needs more learning, perfecting and growth in life. Despite this scenario, I love them both so much, and consider them as God's blessing in disguise, at least to me, if not to my family as well.

Officially, I have made official decisions that put the company I am serving in a very tight spot as far as financial matter is concerned. Yet, those decisions were truly needed to effectively accomplish solid official works. I never remembered having been so bold in making corporate decisions. But those decision are yielding good returns for the company, only "time of return" is the factor to consider. Its like rowing a boat safely to the other side of a stormy and thunderous sea with so much gasps and uncertainties in between. Now, at the fag end of the year, I could foresee sailing through all obstacles. The hand of God indeed is behind the scene. The prize foreseen is worth the prices paid.

Family matters are pressing too. In taking care of the two Onesimus's, the extra burden they brought to my wife and niece, and the anxious concerns for them, and the helpless state they have been into, are pressing too. But these also led me to change my stance towards them and adjusted my life style; which actually is very good for me and my family. So even in these "troubles,"  we are the beneficiaries, especially myself.

Church affairs are even at trying times. We have been busy with our own official and family affairs, and the church affairs are not given proper attention and sufficient time as it should normally be. Besides, we do not have official full timer to fully serve the local church we are in; we are all working saints bearing the burden of the church. Though this fact cannot be an excuse, the increase of the church in numbers is not happening, which we all shamefully agreed. Though our burdens are clears, we have failed in not being able to fulfill it. Or perhaps, the Lord wants us to learn some precious lessons first before He could bless the church? The matter of "not increase in numbers" is definitely and deeply pressing upon me. 

All these "pressings" are persistently pressing me. This reminds me of Simon Peter in John 6, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life." I can come only to the Lord, and to Him only I come, in this pressing time. 

66 From that time many of His disciples went back to what they left behind and no longer walked with Him.67 Jesus therefore said to the twelve, Do you also want to go away?68 Simon Peter answered Him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.