Joy of Being Nothing

In my personal and intimate fellowship with the Lord yesterday morning, the Lord led me to a higher stage of spiritual life where I could see myself in His light, and as Job did, I could truly say from the depth of my being,  "I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye has seen You; Therefore I abhor myself, and I repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:5,6). 

Since the beginning of my Christian life, there used to be a spiritual dream of becoming "somebody" in the Christian world. Secular and earthly glory had been forsaken, yet the hidden ambition within me, even to accomplish "great tasks for the Lord" and "bring glory to God" were all in the same principle as that of the earthly. The more danger in spiritual life is the seeking of spiritual glory in the name of Christ. Often times there was an inward struggle to be someone or somebody in the spiritual circle. 

Liked it or not, there had been a hidden battle waged within me to be of someone who would be in a "circle of fellowship" on taking the lead for the Lord's move. Apparently, it looked like a good thing to be ambitious for the Lord's work, but deep within lies a hidden disease of pride, perhaps, spiritually, and a danger of love for leadership in the same principle as that of Jeroboam. To be precise, this is the love to be leading ones in the work of the Lord  as coworkers and among the children of God in a local church as elders. Of course, the Bible did say, "Faithful is the word: If anyone aspires to the overseership, he desires a good work." (1 Timothy 3:1). I definitely am not against the word of God, but referring to the love for leadership, of position, name and fame, rather than the overseership, as a shepherd among the flock of God. While the former is positional and objective, and the latter, functional and subjective. The former is to be abhorred to the core, and the latter to be desired and longed for.

I do confess that I did have this disease as ones who has been called by the Lord to serve. I am no exception. But the ministry of the word has been helping me to deal with ambition, which by the Lord's mercy, I am learning to be dealt with. The grace of God has preserved me till date, and through the cross by the spirit, the Lord has been gaining ground in me, inch by inch. Thank God for the faithful speaking of brother Watchman Nee, Witness Lee and the brothers who are blended together ministering the timely word of God in the present age. Time and again, I have presented myself before God be touched and graced upon, so that I may be a vessel proper, coordinated and built into the Body of Christ. I believe the Lord is faithful. As I was in an intimate fellowship with the Lord, I felt the veil that had blinded me was torn. I found myself in great relief. That thing that nagged me all this while was just gone! Praise the Lord!

Though the time I spent in intimate fellowship was short, and though I did not intend to bring this matter, but the Lord touched me in in this very thing. I just abhorred my ugly self, repented for nurturing such fleshly thought for so long, even under the cloak of spirituality, and looked to the Lord for His sure mercies and grace, that I be preserved all the days of my life. With the Lord's light, there was a drastic change of looking at things. As before the Lord I can now say, I don't desire such "dreams" any longer, and I am not even qualified for that dream to come true. What a relief, what a joy! Just be a brother who loves the Lord and serves the Lord as He graces. 

Now I understand J N Darby's song, "O the joy of having nothing and being nothing." 

O the joy of having nothing and being nothing, seeing nothing
But a living Christ in glory,
And being careful for nothing but His interests down here.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee?
And there is none upon the earth that I desire beside Thee.
O the joy of having nothing and being nothing, seeing nothing
But a living Christ in glory,
And being careful for nothing but His interests down here.

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/26

Lord, thank You for this grace! Preserve me by Your grace all the days of my life. Amen.

    

Facilitator(?!)

About three years ago when I was permitted to learn Greek though not a translator myself, for the class was meant for such only; it was a dream come true to me, and I really mean it till date. Since then, I have been learning my "father tongue." Now that the course have come to its completion, and qualified translators have been selected to translate from Greek to few select Indian languages. And yet again I am still not a translator, but a learner of Greek only. When a new course was proposed, I myself proposed to enroll again as a learner from the beginning, but my instructor's straight answer was an emphatic "no." He opined that I should rather stay on Greek and keep improving. Then, I dropped the idea of getting  enrolled again.

Few weeks later, my instructor invited me to join the course as a facilitator instead. This offer was even more humbling. I requested to be a student, of which I was turned down, and instead offered and enrolled as "facilitator." My world span for a while in disbelief; how could I ever teach? I must be kidding. But it was true, and indeed, very true. 

I was enrolled as a facilitator, yet so much to me as a learner. In no way I reckon myself fit to "facilitate." Nevertheless, I became one, learning to coordinate with my instructors. Things have happened beyond my imagination, and I simple say "amen" to the sovereign Lord. My only prayer is that I may learn Greek thoroughly well to be of use in the Lord's hand.

Two classes have elapsed when I attended the new course as a "facilitator," but deep within me as a learner. My only desire in this regard is to live up to the expectation of my instructor, and perform better than when I was a student myself.

Lord, grace me to be a good learner and facilitator.    

Mama's Call

Since my childhood I hardly got to stay with my own parent. All my school life I was with my grandparent, and all my college life I was in the hostels. The only time I got to be with my parent was during the vacations. Later, when I finished my secular education till Master's degree, the Lord called me to fear Him, love Him and serve Him; to this call I pay my utmost heed to, and went for two years training. Then my serving the Lord began in serving in the church in New Delhi, then Gurgaon and, then in the literature service till date. By the way, I also got married and now God graces me with three children. With this time-tight chronicles where was indeed the time to really be with my own parents? Often, I was too occupied to even remember that I have families too. But now and then, as the Lord leads I visited my parents, made calls to them and even offer for them whenever the need arises and the Lord blesses.

Two days ago I received a couple of missed calls from my dad's number late in the night. Wondering it must have been important, I tired to call back, but could not get through. The next day I called them, and the voice I heard from the other end was so sweet to my heart, as much to my ear. It was my mother's soft and low voice, calling in tender care and enquiring how I have been doing. Few sentences were sufficient to melt my heart- the voice of my beloved mother with whom I hardly spent time till date. She loves me, I believe even much more than I do. As for me, my love has been so widened to so many other people as a servant of God. Still the special feeling for one's mom, nothing can compare. 

As she mentioned how they have been faring well at home, my heart longs to participate in some of the family needs. My innate response to the short conversation over the phone was, "Mom, tell me how may I help you..." Then without her answering anything I decided and told her I would like to offer a certain amount of money for the family's need. Then our sweet talk ended with a "goodbye."

I brought the matter before the Lord in prayer, and then in fellowship with my beloved wife too; for we are one, "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone," she amened my felling. And mutually as husband and wife, and children to our parent, the offering was thus transferred. It was indeed a blessing and a joy to participate in whatever way we can, as the Lord blesses, to cherish our parent.

Though being a father myself of three now, still Mama's love, expressed in Mama's call continue to ring in my ears. It seems as though it has become a bell in my ears that chimes with every little turns. 

Thank you Lord for my parent, especially my mom. Bless them and give them long life.

Every night as a family we prayed for my wife's parent in Taipei and my parent in Imphal, that God would grace them good health and long life to be a blessing to the younger generation and be divine life dispensers.

God bless our parents!

Shepherding: Entrepreneur and Professors

Today the Lord led us to visit and shepherd three new ones. Though these are all believers, there is a great need for shepherding them as they needed to grow in the life of Christ.

An Entrepreneur

Though we had no plan to meet him, the situation was such that we had to wait for about half an hour to meet a professor. Instead of waiting idly, at the spur of the moment, we decided to meet a brother who has not been in the church life for many years and whose office was within few minutes reach. An impromptu appointment was made and we visited him. 

Though this brother was saved many years ago, he was not stable in his spiritual life as he got tied up with his business as a young entrepreneur, laboring and struggling to be successful. Rarely I visited him, even whenever I did, it was clubbed with some business agenda. But this time it was the Lord's sovereign arrangement. 

As we met, he introduced what he has been professionally doing, and after paying heed to all that he had to say, we assured him that whatever his outward situation may be, the seed of the divine life sown into him years ago is still alive; it just need to be watered and nurtured. We also explained to him the three parts of man with three different lives, viz., the bios(physical life in the body), the psuche(psychological life in the soul) and the pnuema(the spiritual life in the spirit). We also strengthened the need to exercise his human spirit to live and grow in spiritual life, and also pointed out to him that he needed to grow in his spiritual. Such pursuing of spiritual growth is not a matter of religion but having an intimate relationship with God Himself. With these few words, we helped him to pray, and proposed to pray together over phone at least once in a week.

A Professor

A visit to a sister who is a professor of a college in South Delhi was a rejuvenating and restoring relationship. As we met she narrated of all the pressure and anxiety in life she and her family has been through all these days. In spite of the "success" in hers and her husband's career, as both have been confirmed with government permanent jobs, they have been going through a lot of physical and psychological struggles. Our visit was a new beginning for her as she expressed her desire to be back to the fold and be in fellowship with the Lord and with the believers. 

With a soothing word of shepherding from Hebrew 4:16, "Let us therefore come forward with boldness to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace for timely help," we prayed together, and also prayed for her timely need. She was so happy that we visited her. She testified of how good she felt after our fellowship with her. Furthermore, she said she would regularly read the word of God daily from today, and would try to meet up once in a week.

Another Professor

Another sister we visited was also a professor, recovering from a third stage cancer, with whom we fellowshipped on "calling upon the Lord's name" with Bible verse from Genesis 4:26 "And to Seth also a son was born, and he called his name Enosh. At that time men began to call upon the name of Jehovah." With her, we strengthened the burden on calling upon the Lord Jesus' name to touch Him and live Him moment by moment. And that through all circumstances she may gain Christ all the more. The time we spent together was truly enjoyable and beneficial indeed. 

In spite of the cancer, she has shown much faith in the Lord. To her I gifted five booklets by Watchman Nee on subjects like, "Tell Him", "Expecting the Lord's Blessing," "How to Know God's Will," "Self Knowledge and God's Light," and "God's Plan and God's Rest." 

May the Lord bless all these dear ones in the Lord for His testimony.

 

Children Meeting

As a local church I am in here in Gurgaon, is entering into the video training on the Crystallization-study of Exodus, it was my responsibility to take care of the children's meeting as I already attended the live training in USA, so that children serving ones can all enter into the Lord's up-to-date speaking too. My wife did give me two sheets of children materials to prepare but I could not find time to do so. Moreover, the papers were misplaced when I was about to go through it. Left with no option, I began the meeting with prayer with all the children, calling out loud, "O Lord Jesus!" It was so enjoyable.

Children were so innocent and pure. In the meeting three of my own children were there. Once we began the meeting, my son and daughter told the other children all the songs I was about to teach them. The songs that I learned when I myself was a child were the very songs I taught in the children meeting. What was taught to me, I, in turn, teach the children. The songs were, "Into My Heart," "The B-I-B-L-E," "Praise Him! Praise Him!" and another song composed by me for my children, "We are Happy!" After enjoying singing with the children, I taught the children, the most famous verse in the Bible for children, "Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is good and right."  Then I told a story about God's creation of the heavens and the earth and all things in it for God's purpose.

For about one and half hour, spending time with children and coming down to their level to communicate with them made me feel so young, and brought me back down to memory land decades ago. Besides, these day, I also started to spend more time with my children, praying with them, playing with them, and also disciplining them in many aspects. Bonding and blending; family life is really wonderful. Our love for one another grows deeper and deeper. My children are my wonderful friends now. They have grown so fast, and are beginning to catch up with whatever I do.

Realizing the importance of the Lord's shepherding and blessing our family, I take utmost care to see to it that we pray together every night, and whenever possible; while eating, whiling dropping to and picking them up from school, and whenever opportunity for prayer arises. A family that prays together stays together.

Often times, I told my wife, how blessed we have been with all these three children. By the Lord's mercy, thus far, the two who have gone to school are really doing well with both of them scoring 100% in almost all their tests and assignments. Of course, my wife labors a lot on them. What a joy indeed is to be with a family blessed by God. Hallelujah! 

This has been our family prayer, "Lord, make our family, a God-man family." And with my wife, our prayer has been, "Lord, train and grace us to be proper shepherd and good pattern to our children."

A godly family is a happy family! 

My Onesimus

It was few months ago that the Lord spoke to me concerning Onesimus and the beauty of the New Man wherein all the believers in Christ are equal. In the book of Philemon we see what Paul said about Onesimus to Philemon.

Verse 10: I entreat you concerning my child, whom I have begotten in my bonds, Onesimus,

The name in Greek means profitable, useful, helpful; it was a common name for slaves. He was Philemon's purchased bondslave, who, according to Roman law, had no human rights. He ran away from his master, thus committing a crime punishable by death. While he was in prison at Rome with the apostle, he was saved through him. Now the apostle sent him back with this Epistle to his master. 

Verse 11: Who formerly was useless to you but now is useful both to you and to me.

Then in verse 16: No longer as a slave, but above  a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

This short Epistle serves the special purpose of showing us the equality, in God's eternal life and divine love, of all the members in the Body of Christ. In the semisavage age of Paul, the life of Christ had annulled, among the believers, the strong institution of slavery. Since the sentiment of the love of the Christian fellowship was so powerful and prevailing that the evil social order among fallen mankind was spontaneously ignored, any need for institutional emancipation was obviated. Because of the divine birth and because they were living by the divine life, all the believers in Christ had equal status in the church, which was the new man in Christ and in which there was no discrimination between free and bond (Col. 3:10-11). This was based on three facts: (1) Christ's death on the cross abolished the ordinances of the different ways of life, for the creating of the one new man (Eph. 2:15); (2) we all were baptized into Christ and were made one in Him without any differences (Gal. 3:27-28); and (3) in the new man Christ is all and in all (Col. 3:11). 

There had been a consideration within me for many months when one brother had to be substituted of his service as he would be trained in truth and life for at least two years. This gap could be filled not so easily by anyone as most of the services are very down to earth minial, domestic, and mostly like a daily household chore type. And to bring in a trained person in truth may not be very wise when there are so many need for such ones to be in the propagation of the Lord's move. 

My first consideration was one of the brothers who used to lived with me and did not have much positive testimony. However, knowing some of the things he had been into in the past, I myself was restrained. Nevertheless, I brought this matter before the Lord in prayer again and again. My main concern was that this might be the best opportunity for him be be fully recovered back in life and in service.

I made the proposal initially indirectly, but it did not work out. At one point of time, my heart ached as I reckon this as a disqualification to him. But last month when I was in the North East, Guwahati, for the propagation of the minsitry of the Word, he was there too. I waited and prayed for the proper time to fellowship with him. One dinner, I finally got to fellowship with him, and mentioned to him my burden for giving him one more chance which he could grasped and take it positively for his recovery in life and service. Though he did mention his concern about his past life and how would the saints or other brothers feel as he did not lead a good testimony, my impromptu reply was, "I will take the responsibility upon me, either for good for bad", I just said it by faith. For by this time, I have learnt that one must be able to take risk, bear responsibility for the sake of the weaker saints, that they may be encouraged, strengthened and be recovered fully for the Lord's testimony. Neither him nor I made any decison, but we prayed and left the matter to the Lord. I only told him to pray, fellowship with his family and confirm later. With all sincerity and purity, I left the matter to the Lord. If it is truly of the Lord, it sill transpire.

Days and weeks had elapsed since then, and finally he called me to say that he had decided to come. To me that was the Lord's mercy. I fellowshipped with my wife the arrangement for him to stay with us and be a part of our family, which she gradually agreed. Then he came, and indeed he is becoming a blessing, to fill the gap officially and also to be a part of our family. 

Like Onesimus to Paul and Philemon, so far, he has been so profitable. Only the Lord has to grace all of us to be profitable to one another. In fact, when I was considering him before he decided to come, the Lord personally spoke to me twice concerning him. First time was when I ministered on the book of Philemon to the serving ones in our literature office in Gurgaon, and then when I ministered again on the same topic to our propagation team in Guwahati. The inner speaking of the Lord to me was, this brother is an Onesimus to me, and I must recommend him as Paul did, and receive him as Philemon did. I functioned as a double role of Paul and Philemon concerning this brother, who is now my Onesimus. 

God bless my Onesimus and make him profitable, useful and helpful as the name is. And that, "Who formerly was useless to you but now is useful both to you and to me."    

Shepherding: Abiding...

A brother and his wife came to visit us yesterday after an abrupt phone call. Though I usually used to pray with him over the phone, I sensed a need to fellowship with him face to face. The last time I met them was a couple of months ago. And this brother needs a special shepherding as he is being saved from a staunch Hindu Brahmin background.

As he came, he narrated of a serious lack in his life in spite of the fact that he is "successful" outwardly. He has present twenty three national and international records to his credit, and also got married to his most beloved. Before he became such, he used to be very happy and simple, and used to dream of achieving his dreams professionally, and also dreamed of getting married to his dream girl. Now he has achieved both, literally! But he confessed that he was less happier than before his dreams actually came true. 

As he narrated his longing for inward joy and satisfaction, which to me was a very positive sign, as the sense of life in him made him realise that outward "successes" cannot really give him joy and inward peace. After he poured himself out his feelings with a very sad visage, the Lord gave me two points of fellowship.

I took a Hindi Bible and led him to read John 15:1-11 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-27. We pray-read few verses from both chapters. 

4 Abide in Me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
5 I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing. 

Abiding in Christ, the Lord, the Head of the Body: Personally

After pray-reading the above verse with much exercise of our spirits, I fellowshipped with him and his wife that they needed to abide in the Lord all the time. Though as regenerated believers, they have a relationship with God yet they may not enjoy fellowshipping with Him. The reason being, not abiding in God. This matter is of utmost importance for every believers, personally abiding in the Lord by spending time with Him in prayer and in the word of God. Without this enjoyment of the Lord in the word and in prayer, life is indeed an empty vessel.

Abiding in the Church, the Body of Christ: Corporately

Then, I fellowshipped on the importance of fellowship and blending with fellows brothers and sisters in the church. I strengthened the point that they are members of the church, and as much as possible they must meet with the saints, at least once in a week. By fellowship with the saint in the church we are strengthened and encouraged. I further expounded 1 Corinthian 12 with emphasis on the constitution of the Body, the importance of every member in the Body and the need for blending together in the Body with fellow members.

They both listened intently to the points I fellowshipped with them: the urgency of establishing a strong personal relationship and fellowship with the Lord, and also enjoying the corporate fellowship of the church life. Moreover, I emphasized the need to pay a price of time, money and energy. Yes, the higher the price, the more valuable it becomes. And after the fellowship we prayed together.

They both understood the burden of fellowship and decided to come every Lord's evening for fellowship. After such a sweet time of fellowship, the brother's face became much brighter and was full of joy. 

Praise the Lord for the shepherding of abiding in the Lord and in the Body. May the Lord truly and fully recover their enjoyment of Christ and the church life, and gain them truly for the testimony of Jesus in Gurugram, especially among his own people in the flesh.