Tears of Love

Its long since I deeply touched the love of God and loved Him in return even to the point of shedding tears of love. Perhaps, this is emotional, so be it. God has given man emotion so that man can love Him with the first and best love. 

Recently a sister, in her desperateness of life, texted me what she should do to please the Lord. My response was innate. Matthew 22:37, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." And the Lord confirmed it emphatically that, "This is the great and first commandment," verse 38.

This matter of loving the Lord has been neglected by many, even among the redeemed and called, yes, and even among those who serve "full-time." The greatest danger in a Christian life is the falling away from loving the Lord. Sometimes, many Christians and Christian workers are too much engulfed in their so called "work" for God(?) to the extent that they forget loving Him altogether. What does the Lord require of us, except to love Him? Of course, "works" will ensue out of the love for Him, not otherwise, nor vice versa. Even still, loving the Lord must be above all, and nothing between us and the Lord.

When the Lord called me in January 1, 2004, through this striking rhema verse, Deuteronomy 10:12, "And now, O Israel, what does Jehovah your God ask of you except that you fear Jehovah your God so that you would walk in all His ways and love Him and serve Jehovah your God with all your heart and with all your soul," I fully could not really understand it deeper beyond giving up my career and my earthly future to serve Him full time. But somehow, though I have been in His service since then, till today by His mercy, often, I have to confess, I love the Lord's work more than the Lord Himself, the ministry of His word more than the Lord Himself, the many experiences and enjoyments of the Lord more than the Lord Himself, or even sinners and the believers more than the Lord Himself, or even the blessings of God more than the Lord Himself, even spiritual things more than the Lord Himself. There are many replacements of the Lord Himself. Not to mention the world, sins and satanic temptation; the very things of God are, many times, real replacement of the Lord Himself. These days, in fact, today, the Lord touched me deeply about the object of my love : the Lord or anything else? 

A hymn composed by one of my maternal uncles, a dear brother in the Lord and once upon a time, my local guardian when I was a student in Shillong, who dearly loves the Lord and an ardent seeker of the truth, has touched me in a very fresh and deep way. The hymn is titled, "Hon ngai ing e, Toupa Jesus," meaning, "I love You Lord Jesus." Listening to this hymn of a very subjective, affectionate, intimate, personal love and longing for the Lord as a dear pants for water in thirst, convicted me of my nominal love for the Lord all these years. I repented in tears for my mundane, pale and hypocritical love for the Lord. It refreshed my love for the Lord anew. I just echoed the hymn and offer my fresh love offering to the Lord in tears. "Lord, I love You. Forgive my lovelessness." On and on, I could not help releasing my tears of love for the Lord. The Lord truly is lovely, yes, so lovely.

Nothing can quench my love for the Lord. Though God blessed me and has been blessing me according to His riches, beyond all that I could even ever asked for. He blesses and blesses, even though I don't really ask Him. But even these blessings does not quench the thirst, hunger and love for Christ Himself. The more the physical or spiritual blessings, the more my hunger, thirst and love for Him grows. All "these things" are no comparison to the Lord Himself who surpasses everything physical, psychological and even spiritual. Only the Lord Himself can satisfy me completely, and nothing else. He is worth everything--my first love and my best love. To shed tears of love and offer up myself to Him fully cannot realize the love for Him fully. He is worth everything. To shed tears of love is no price compare to the Lord Himself. Even if I be martyred, still this is not sufficient, not that I should not be, but mentioning of His worth. Nevertheless, to shed tears of love is not less worth. I opine, the more the better, for He is truly lovely and He must be loved with the best, even with tears of love....

Lord, I love You! 

Time of Life

Genesis 18:

10:I will certainly return to you according to the time of life,

11:Is anything too marvelous for Jehovah? At the appointed time I will return to you, according to the time of life,...

The Lord's speaking and His unfailing promise is He will certainly fulfill what He promised according to the time of life. The time of life was the time of God's visitation, according to the context. The same is true of the rhema word. The time of life of God fulfilling His promise is when we are ready for the fulfillment and when God's timing is ripe too.

Nothing is too marvelous for Jehovah. What is needed is only the eyes of faith to see through. Similarly these days, though the Lord has promised many things, they are not promptly manifested or bestowed. But I am not discouraged. For it will be according to the time of life. Often I questioned myself and the Lord why many things I perceived by faith are not yet a reality. Be it spiritual matters of the church or myself, or even something physical. 

For instance, one of the main burdens of the church, including myself and many other saints, is to gain increase in life and in number. Many prayers have been offered and much effort has been made. But the result does not seem forthcoming as expected. Instead, many times, it appears traversing a downhill. Sometimes, the human mind reasons and questions to tally the burden with the result. This often is disappointing. Nevertheless, the Lord's speaking is crystal clear, it will happen according to the time of life.

How I wish that time of life is now. Perhaps, a natural desire of instant result? But the Lord knows best. After this speaking from the Lord, I would patiently labor and wait on the Lord for the time of life. Nothing indeed is too marvelous for the Lord. In His time and when we are ready, or rather when I am ready, He will fulfill all His promises one by one.

Lord, I need your visitation day by day as much as You indwelt me. I believe in Your word, nothing is too marvelous for You; all the prayer burdens will be fulfilled in Your time. All that You will, will be done according to the time of life. Lord, hasten that time!

Double Blessing

This new year the church in Gurgaon has a burden for every saints to enter into the holy word of the Bible and read through the text in a year; which means to read at least 3 from the old and 1 from the new testament. My innate response was that I have been pursuing my own schedule and that I need not bear another load. But after the 31st night special burden fellowship and consecration I decided to pick up this "extra load". My, from day one, it was such a tremendous blessing to me!

I still am continuing my regular pursuing with a deeper and serious studying on the text and the notes; and apart from that as I entered into the church's burden too, I received a double blessing. an "extra load", an extra blessing! Every chapter I read had something new and rhema for me. I really thanked the Lord for this "extra load", which redeemed my time and make me more disciplined. In fact, this is no "extra load" at all, instead its a blessing upon blessings.

For instance, last night in my bearing of the "extra load" I read Matthew 5:22-24. Immediately the Lord spoke to me to text these verses to two elders brothers who were not in good terms with one another. Almost half a decade ago, the Lord graced me to shepherd these brothers even unto the recovery of the church life in that locality. Later, the enemy's attacks became very severe, but the Lord's testimony shine all the more brighter. The elder ones became somewhat dull but the Lord raised up the younger generation with much vigor and vitality with full functionality as member of the Body of Christ. These offended brother even call to complaint his disagreements in many mysterious issues, but my only response was to give ear to what he had to say and cherished him to fellowship and reconcile with the brother who offended him, unknowingly and unintentionally. Last night, when I read these verse, the Lord's leading was to text the same to the two. Which I did, leaving the outcome to the Lord.

Even in the matter of prayer, propagation, shepherding and home visits, though I have been carrying them out, with the Lord's fresh speaking through the church, I coordinated with brothers for visiting the saints and the new ones. From day one, at least a scholar was brought to salvation. Another family was revived through a simple family visit where we fellowshiped and prayed together, and another two senior citizen new believers were very much vitalised. Whenever the Lord speaks to the church or through the church, blessed are they who hear what the Lord said and obeyed. And I am graced to enjoy this blessing of being one with the church and the Lord. O what a blessing! A double blessing indeed.

Righteousness

These days the Lord's speaking to me is concerning "righteousness." Again and again, the Lord reminded me of righteousness, be it in my reading of the word from the old testament or from the new, be it in experience or what's happening in Delhi, the capital city; a party whose propaganda is righteous coming to power from nowhere. Truly, the Lord is working among the nation and mankind, and He is speaking to His children, even me, through the logos or rhema or even through the socio-political-economic atmosphere.

Isaiah 32

15 Until the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, And the wilderness becomes a fruitful field, And the fruitful field is considered to be a forest.

16 Then justice will dwell in the wilderness, And righteousness will remain in the fruitful field;

17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the result of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.

The only righteous one is God Himself. This Righteous One was incarnated as a Man, Jesus Christ, and passing through death and resurrection, now to us today, He is the Spirit, "the Spirit is poured upon us from on high." The Righteous One is in the believers as their righteousness. "And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the result of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever." The whole world is teeming with unrighteousness, and the issue of such is restlessness and uncertainty forever. 

God is a God of righteousness, His throne is founded on righteousness and He will not tolerate any unrighteousness. To believers or unbelievers, to all men alike, He rules on the principle of righteousness. Unbelievers can pursue righteousness  objectively without really experiencing the Righteous One, still, in His mercy, God blessed them. These days, my fellowship with an aspiring bureaucrat is on this very matter where the majority of the already appointed bureaucrats have failed. Greed and lust have blind their eyes of the importance of righteousness, and they are trapped in the web of unrighteousness, which is a well known open-secret of corruption. May the Lord raise up young generation, men of God, to stand for truth and justice and walk the talk of righteousness.

1 Peter 3

12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His bears incline to their petition; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

13 And who will harm you if you become zealous for what is good?

When one is filled with the zeal of God who is a Righteous one and stands and fights for righteousness, the Lord's grace and protection will sure be with him, this I say, in the context of humanity in social welfare. The same applies to all realms. For God is a God of righteousness.

Having been spoken too, through the word by the Lord, I helplessly recline at the Lord's bosom for more grace, that I may walk the talk and live the word spoken to. 

Lord, You are my righteousness. So be You, forever.

New in Christ 2014

The Lord has wonderfully led me through to the new year. Successes and failures and many things both positive and negative have been experienced, and through all these the Lord caused me to learn more from Him and gain more of Him. Looking back, I received much much more blessings than things not so encouraging. Even my weaknesses and failures were a great help to me, making me know who I am in the flesh that I more earnestly may pursue Christ.

In the local church here in Gurgaon, we came together for prayer and fellowship on specific burdens  and had consecration prayer for each burden released. The Lord's timely speaking to us and among us as a church were so basic and practical. It comprises of Shepherding, Propagation, Morning Revival, Bible Reading, Prayer, Truth Pursuing, Home Meetings and Offering. Though these were common and day to day matter, the Lord's speaking was so fresh and new. As we fellowshiped and prayed through to the new year, I personally felt so revived. The Lord loves us so much and He has been leading us forward step by step.

After such fellowship, I enjoyed my personal time with the Lord in the word again. The Lord's further speaking was full of hope and encouragement. Isaiah 35

Assurance of fruit bearing: 

1 The wilderness and the desert will be glad; And the desert will exult and blossom Like the rose.

2 It will blossom and blossom, And even exult with exultation and a ringing shout. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, The splendor of Carmel and Sharon; They will see the glory of Jehovah, The splendor of our God.

Word of shepherding:

3 Strengthen the weak hands, And confirm the shaking knees.

4 Say to those who are of anxious heart, Be strong; fear not; Indeed your God Will come with vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you.

Hope of salvation:

5 Then the eyes of the blind will be opened, And the ears of the deaf will be unstopped;

6 Then the lame will leap like a hart, And the tongue of the dumb will give a ringing shout; 

Promise of blessing:

For water will break forth in the wilderness, And streams in the desert.

7 And the desert mirage will become a pool, And the thirsty ground, springs of water; In the habitation of jackals, their resting place, There will be grass with reeds and rushes.

8 And a highway will be there, and a way, And it will be called, The Way of Holiness. The unclean will not pass on it, But it will be for him who walks on the way; No fools will err in it.

9 There will be no lion there, Nor will any ravenous animal go up on it; They will not be found there; But the redeemed will walk on it.

Promise of recovery:

10 And the ransomed of Jehovah will return And will come to Zion with a ringing shout, And eternal joy will be upon their heads. They will lay hold on gladness and joy, And sorrow and sighing will flee away.

The Lord had burdened me to pray for different category of people. For those not yet saved; for those who are saved and are backslidden, for those who are saved yet not in the normal church life, and for those who are newly saved and need shepherding care. For all these categories of people whom He burdened me to pray for, He gave me the timely words of blessing. Hallelujah!

In oneness with the church's burden, my time spent in the word and in prayer intensified- in fact doubled. The Lord's indeed graced me to be in pace with His present move. Where the will of God leads the grace of the Lord supplies. A blessed new year indeed in Christ.

Body Life

A decade ago, I had been taught and trained to be a "spiritual giant" as the case is in many inner life Christian groups. No wonder, I used to struggle and strive to become such a one. But the Lord, in His mercy, saved me from this extremist pursuit. Thank the Lord! 

However, having stated this, the basic practices of a Christian living are very much needed as they are the foundation for the stability of a normal Christian life. Nevertheless, all these practices are actually for the Body of Christ; spirituality is for the Body of Christ, otherwise, it is a great threat to the building up of the Body of Christ. A spirituality without Body-consciousness is individualistic and divisive. Church history has proved it. Such partial, incomplete and improper understanding of spirituality does more harm than good; instead of building up the Body of Christ, it tears down what has already been built.

Since the Lord recovered me to the Body life, He has shown special grace to me. All these years, praise the Lord, a decade now(!), many of my self have been stripped layer by layer, including my understanding of spirituality. In no way can I say, I have been fully stripped off of all that need to be stripped off, but for sure, significant stripping have been done. Looking back, I can only praise the Lord for what He has been doing which otherwise would have made me by now a half-baked cake. Having stated thus, I still look to the Lord for more grace to go on in Him, with Him, with His Body.

These days, as to God and as to man, I can humbly acknowledge that I am indeed nothing and can do nothing in myself without the Lord and His Body. Since the Head, Christ cannot be separated from His Body, the Church, I can also not be separated from my fellow brethren. A decade ago, I can spiritually do many things individually and divisively in the name of the Lord, but now, a decade after, I can only depend on the Lord and dwell with the Body and need the fellowship, balancing of the Body in the Body for the Body. Be it personal or corporate matter, I cannot be myself, do it myself any longer. The hand of the Lord is heavy upon me if I dare to be individualistic, because He loves me. I need the Body as much as I need the Head of the Body; for the body is the Body of the Head, and the Head is the head of the Body. The two co-exist as one. What the Head feels, or says or does, the Body feels, or says or does too. Recently, a brother had indirectly indicated that he is fully for the Head, Christ but had some uneasiness with the Body and further indicated that he is only for the Head. To this I retorted back, that I am for both the Head and the Body. For one cannot be sweetly joined to the Head without fitly joined to the Body; to claim royalty to the Head without being in peace with the Body is a paradox. How many of today's Christians who loves the Lord dearly need to know and live in the Body life? Lord, have mercy on us...

Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12-14 are great unveilings of the Body life. To me these are enhanced gospel, not merely being saved from negative things, but even more to be saved into the Body life. These days, I can only praise and thank the Lord for His great mercy shown especially towards me. He saved me from my self pursuit of spirituality and shepherded me into the Body life, living as a member of His Body with many other members, coordinating, blending and building together for the fulfillment of His eternal purpose " Until we all arrive at the oneness of the faith and of the full knowledge of the Son of God, at a full-grown man, at the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ," Ephesians 4:13.

Flow of Life

The church is a miniature of the New Jerusalem and needs to take the holy city as its highest standard. In the holy city as revealed in Revelation 22:1,2 are the throne of God and the Lamb, the river of water of life and the tree of life. These three significant items also comprises the church life today. And these has been my experience in the church life very strongly these days.

Be it a mere group meeting or a church prayer meeting or the Lord's table meeting or a prophesying meeting or training or conference or blending or whatever meeting, as long as it is the meeting of the proper church life under the throne of God and the Lamb, there is always a rich supply. No matter how many joins the meeting or who speaks the word, there is the Lord's anointing. I have been enjoying this anointing very much. Regardless of what truth is spoken, how well or unwell spoken, how long or how short, there is always a rich supply of life.

For this blessings divine, my being sings in praise to the Lord. These days I am so much blessed with the Lord's speaking through the ministry of the word of the speaking brothers. Even the readings of the ministry writings is full of life supply; any books, any chapter, any page, there is the rich supply of life. The fellowship of the brothers on whatever matter is also filled with life. Lord, thank you for the flow of life.

Whatever others say, whether critiquing or criticizing, accusing or excusing, my life experience clearly testifies beyond doubt, the Lord's recovery is truly the Lord's recovery of life, in life and by life. Time and again, the Lord confirmed to me through the objective revelations of the truth and the subjective experiences of the revealed truth, that He is indeed the Head of the church and the proper practice of the church life in the Lord's recovery is truly of the Lord; though there are differences in practices and many outward matters in comparison with other believers, essentially, the Lord's heart is please and His blessings are unsearchable, both abstract and concrete, spiritual, psychological and physical too. 

Even when we few brothers gather together for fellowship on many matters, there is the divine life operating and flowing among us; not a matter of right or wrong, good, better or best, there for sure is the Lord's blessing. O how I treasure this flow of life.

Based on the word, all this is just the fulfillment of the proper church life, a miniature of the New Jerusalem, with the throne of God as the center, and the river of life flowing to supply all the saints in the church and the tree of life for the saints to feed upon.

If I were to jot down all the blessings there will be no end; if I were to write descriptively on the experiences of the Lord's bountiful supply of life, time and energy will not suffice. These are the riches Christ, the Head of the Body, bestowed His Body, the church, with. 

O to be in the church life in the Lord's recovery is a blessing of all blessings! Lord, thank you for Your life flow; preserve me in the church life under Your throne with Your river of life and tree of life.