Tears of Love

Its long since I deeply touched the love of God and loved Him in return even to the point of shedding tears of love. Perhaps, this is emotional, so be it. God has given man emotion so that man can love Him with the first and best love. 

Recently a sister, in her desperateness of life, texted me what she should do to please the Lord. My response was innate. Matthew 22:37, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." And the Lord confirmed it emphatically that, "This is the great and first commandment," verse 38.

This matter of loving the Lord has been neglected by many, even among the redeemed and called, yes, and even among those who serve "full-time." The greatest danger in a Christian life is the falling away from loving the Lord. Sometimes, many Christians and Christian workers are too much engulfed in their so called "work" for God(?) to the extent that they forget loving Him altogether. What does the Lord require of us, except to love Him? Of course, "works" will ensue out of the love for Him, not otherwise, nor vice versa. Even still, loving the Lord must be above all, and nothing between us and the Lord.

When the Lord called me in January 1, 2004, through this striking rhema verse, Deuteronomy 10:12, "And now, O Israel, what does Jehovah your God ask of you except that you fear Jehovah your God so that you would walk in all His ways and love Him and serve Jehovah your God with all your heart and with all your soul," I fully could not really understand it deeper beyond giving up my career and my earthly future to serve Him full time. But somehow, though I have been in His service since then, till today by His mercy, often, I have to confess, I love the Lord's work more than the Lord Himself, the ministry of His word more than the Lord Himself, the many experiences and enjoyments of the Lord more than the Lord Himself, or even sinners and the believers more than the Lord Himself, or even the blessings of God more than the Lord Himself, even spiritual things more than the Lord Himself. There are many replacements of the Lord Himself. Not to mention the world, sins and satanic temptation; the very things of God are, many times, real replacement of the Lord Himself. These days, in fact, today, the Lord touched me deeply about the object of my love : the Lord or anything else? 

A hymn composed by one of my maternal uncles, a dear brother in the Lord and once upon a time, my local guardian when I was a student in Shillong, who dearly loves the Lord and an ardent seeker of the truth, has touched me in a very fresh and deep way. The hymn is titled, "Hon ngai ing e, Toupa Jesus," meaning, "I love You Lord Jesus." Listening to this hymn of a very subjective, affectionate, intimate, personal love and longing for the Lord as a dear pants for water in thirst, convicted me of my nominal love for the Lord all these years. I repented in tears for my mundane, pale and hypocritical love for the Lord. It refreshed my love for the Lord anew. I just echoed the hymn and offer my fresh love offering to the Lord in tears. "Lord, I love You. Forgive my lovelessness." On and on, I could not help releasing my tears of love for the Lord. The Lord truly is lovely, yes, so lovely.

Nothing can quench my love for the Lord. Though God blessed me and has been blessing me according to His riches, beyond all that I could even ever asked for. He blesses and blesses, even though I don't really ask Him. But even these blessings does not quench the thirst, hunger and love for Christ Himself. The more the physical or spiritual blessings, the more my hunger, thirst and love for Him grows. All "these things" are no comparison to the Lord Himself who surpasses everything physical, psychological and even spiritual. Only the Lord Himself can satisfy me completely, and nothing else. He is worth everything--my first love and my best love. To shed tears of love and offer up myself to Him fully cannot realize the love for Him fully. He is worth everything. To shed tears of love is no price compare to the Lord Himself. Even if I be martyred, still this is not sufficient, not that I should not be, but mentioning of His worth. Nevertheless, to shed tears of love is not less worth. I opine, the more the better, for He is truly lovely and He must be loved with the best, even with tears of love....

Lord, I love You!