Fellowship: Marital Issue (2)

Last Wednesday night, a brother and his wife made an appointment with me for a follow-up fellowship on our previous fellowship. As we began, the couple confessed about their present situation and the fear that gripped them concerning the longevity of their marital relationship. The brother had openly confessed to me how he was not what I would have thought and that he had some past bad experiences that affected his present living. And the sister confessed how she has been fearful if anything bad happen in their marriage life.

Hearing them out first I was glad that there was a genuine progress from our previous fellowship and that the brother had confessed all that he did in the past to the sister which scared her of the future. My fellowship was very much anointed by the Lord as I sensed the sweet flow of life from within my spirit. And the Lord gave me the timely words to address their deep concern.

I began by quoting a verse, which we all read together.

“For God has not given us a spirit of cowardice, but of power and of love and of sobermindedness.” (2 Timothy 1:7, RecVer)

According to this verse, the fear that gripped them, especially the sister, is from Satan. For God has not given us a spirit of cowardice or fear. Therefore, I encouraged them to reject such negative thoughts, which are darts thrown at the believers by the enemy. Then I confirmed again and again that 1 John 7,9 confirmed the effectiveness of the blood of Jesus Christ that cleanses them from every confessed sins. Any condemnation after confession is of Satan and must be rejected.

“And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they loved not their soul-life even unto death.” (Revelation of John 12:11, RecVer)

Once the blood of Jesus was applied, any further condemnation must be utterly denied by the verbal declaration of the victory in the blood of Jesus, and to not love our soul life even unto death.

Still the question arises, what if one of the partners committed fornication, will that immediately issue in divorce according to the word spoken by the Lord Jesus?

“And it was said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries her who has been divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32, RecVer)

But I also quoted the following verses to understand the context on which divorce  seems to be made "permissible" legally. 

“And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him and saying, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause? And He answered and said, Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, And said, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh”? So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has yoked together, let man not separate. They said to Him, Why then did Moses command us to give her a certificate of divorce and divorce her? He said to them, Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for fornication, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her who has been divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:3-9, RecVer)

It was never God's will that there be divorce after marriage because in marriage the two have become one. God’s original intention in marriage is oneness of the married couple, implied by "one flesh." Therefore, any thought of divorce even for "permissible" reason must be avoided as much as possible. 

For this, oneness has to be preserved between husband and wife. I testified of how the Lord has been gracing my marriage and how I have been praying with my wife this prayer:

Lord, cause us to love You and to love one another more and more. Lord, cause us to be one with You and to be one with one another more and more.

And I encouraged them to spend personal time with the Lord and also corporate time with one another every day with the daily reading of the Holy Bible. Only the time spent with the Lord will enable the Lord to dispense His divine love to them that will cause their enjoyment of the Lord issuing in loving one another with the divine love and divine oneness. Then, their marriage will be secured by the divine love, divine life, and divine oneness.

As to the question of getting marriage counsellors' help, I told them that the key issue is not outward control psychologically or medically, by the crucifixion of the flesh. And that, their marital and private matters be kept private as much as possible and not run into the risk of exposing to a third person who has no genuine care and spiritual concern for them. The enemy always search for loopholes to attack marriages.

“I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20, RecVer)

This crucifixion can be accomplished only by the Spirit.

“For if you live according to the flesh, you must die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the practices of the body, you will live.”

Finally, as an addendum, I also fellowshipped on the matter of understanding God's creation of male and female biologically. And that they should enjoy their marital life, God's biological design, within the boundary of marriage.

“Now concerning the things of which you wrote: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of fornication, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife that which is due, and likewise also the wife to the husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise the husband also does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive each other, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and then be together again, that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not by way of command.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-6, RecVer)

After about one and half hour of fellowship, I sensed that the burden was released. Therefore, we all prayed together and peacefully ended the fellowship for that time.

May the Lord cover my brother and sister and bless their marriage life for the Lord’s testimony.

(Romans 8:13, RecVer)