A week ago I was struggling within and also was reasoning intensely with the Lord concerning the house I live in right now. As a family, we have been living in the same house for a decade now. At times I wanted to shift out to another house seeking better facilities. With the same amount of rent I am paying now, I could have gotten a better house, infrastructurally speaking. Yet, I never got the go-ahead from the Lord for some reason known only to Him. This is the reason I struggled within with the Lord. On the one hand, I contemplated relocation. Yet, on the other hand, I never had the leading from the Lord nor the peace to move. And I dare not do anything without the Lord's perfect leading where His presence, His hands accompanies His speaking. Therefore, I got stuck.
With the pandemic striking last year, and now the second wave sweeping India all over again in an intense way, many houses have become vacant awaiting to be rented. Besides, house rents have been reduced significantly. These facts added more fuel to my reasoning mind. At the same time, my expenses for my children's fees and others have gone up significantly. Therefore, I was contemplating to negotiate with my house owner based on the facts I have got, to reduce the rent or shift out. This, perhaps, was a rather bold step yet foolish, becoming food for my reasoning mind and wandering thoughts. But as a man, I really struggled and struggled.
After I was bitten by a dog, for about two weeks I could not take a walk due to the wounds. But once I got well, I resumed my prayer walk again. On the first day of my prayer walk, the Lord spoke to me a very particular word that changed my whole concept and perhaps, renewed my mind all over again. Therefore I gave up all my strugglings, gave up all my reasonings, and gave up my being itself to God's caring hands; just to rest in Him in peace.
The Lord's speakings were, "You are my child, you cannot compare yourself with the worldly people. They may reason and fight for their so-called rights, but you must simply trust me, I will take care of it all. Others can negotiate on their rentals with pandemic as the reason, but I have been providing you with all that you needed. If your expenses were more, I will increase your supply accordingly. You don't have to fight for yourself, I will fight for you. Just trust in me, and just rest in Me. I know what is best for you."
After this, I completely gave up my thoughts and secret plans. Even my thought to write a "personal fellowship" mail to my house owner, who is also a brother in the Lord, seeking a reduction in my house rent. Then, the peace of God came back and I was released from all my "legal" reasonings. Praise the Lord!
Following this, the Lord also provided in abundance, to meet our expenses. Surprisingly, abundantly, and marvelously the Lord provided our needs through our loving and caring parent in Taiwan. With this love offering, the Lord proved Himself again that He is the Lord and He supplies abundantly on time. In other words, this was an experience of not fighting for my rights, even if there was any, but to defer all to the Lord for His sovereign arrangement. I must not fight for my rights nor accuse someone whom I feel is unrighteous. But leave the matter to the Lord who sees all, knows all, and is above all. Let Him take the final call.
Having enjoyed the Lord's speaking and the Lord's supply time and gain, I have no words but to worship Him and praise Him! For I know Him a little bit more and gain Him more! Praise the Lord!
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