Marriage

On the 28th of February, I saw the desperate post of a sister of her wanting to get married. In the church-life, we have a good number of single brothers and sisters who really need help in marriage matters. They have been enjoying the church-life and are going on with the Lord, but for some reason, they could not break through in marriage matters. Some of them have been proposed for their marriage but they outrightly rejected for the reasons best known to them. But as I understood their situation, it was simply because they were expecting a "better" one, they already harbored in their hearts, their own standards, who would match them.

I was so burdened to post in the church's WhatsApp group to express my feeling and burden. In response, I posted the following, it also is based on my experience of how the Lord dealt with me and led me for my marriage.  

A Word of Love to All the Single Saints

As we pray for your marriage:

Consecrate yourself fully to the Lord without any reservation.

Pray for the perfect will of the Lord to be done; NOT your choices, likes, types, or preferences.

Give up your opinion and hidden standard of who or what kind of person you like to get married to, to the point that you can simply amen whoever the Lord arranges. 

Trust the Lord’s sovereign arrangement, He knows what is best for you. Don't trust your own "feeling or discernment"; only God knows the past, present, and future, and the real condition of everyone. 

As a preparation, it may be helpful to read:

Messages for Building Up New Believers, Vol. 2

https://www.ministrybooks.org

Message 30: Marriage

Message 31: Choosing a Mate

Except from the Ministry:

In the Bible, Jacob's marriage to Rachel was a matter of his own selection, whereas Isaac's marriage to Rebekah was a matter of God's selection. The one who had his own selection suffered much, but the one who accepted God's selection did not suffer at all. This proves that God's selection for us is the best choice. The more we exercise our preference in choosing a spouse, the more we should be prepared to suffer. (CWWL 1971, vol. 3, p 142.)

Much grace to all.

Pray that this year the Lord will open the way for the single saints to get married.

_____________________________

Hebrews 13:4

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled*; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. 

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not become dissimilarly yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?

The next day, as the follow-up of what I had posted on marriage, I quoted from the ministry and posted another excerpt on marriage.

MARRIAGE

Marriage Being Ordained by God

1. “Jehovah God said, It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper as his counterpart” (Gen. 2:18).

When God created man, He saw that it was not good for man to be alone, so He determined to make a helper for man as his counterpart. This shows that marriage is according to God’s divine and holy ordination. Marriage was ordained by God when God first created man. Marriage did not come in after the fall of man, nor is it based on the lusts of man. Marriage was ordained by God for man in creation, and it is a primary matter in our human living. In our living, only creation is higher than marriage, and all other matters are headed up by marriage. The origin of man was through creation; the continuation of man is through marriage. In the beginning God created man, but the continuation and propagation of man is through marriage. Therefore, marriage is important to God, and He ordains that man marry.

God ordained man to have a helper as his counterpart because it was not good for the man to be alone. Being alone is not good for several reasons. It is not good in regard to reaching God’s goal, and even more, it is not good in regard to man himself. *Both physically and emotionally, in human living and human affairs, it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore, God determined to make a helper as a counterpart for man.*

2. “He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; the two shall be one flesh’” (Matt. 19:4-5).

In the beginning God not only ordained that man have a helper as his counterpart in marriage, He also created them male and female and ordained that the two should be one flesh. Man has an inward need for marriage, which comes from God’s creation. God created this need in human nature. The Bible reveals that God’s goal in the universe is with man. In order for God to accomplish His goal in the universe, He must gain man, and in order to gain man, He must ensure that the man He created for His purpose continues and propagates through marriage. Therefore, God not only ordained marriage; He also created a need for marriage within man.

God’s creation of man was very special. He created man so that a male and a female would need each other in order to be a complete person by becoming one flesh. According to the teaching of the Bible, neither a female nor a male is a complete person. In order to be complete, a male and a female must join together as one. Just as two halves of a watermelon are needed in order to be a complete watermelon, only a man and a wife are a complete person from God’s point of view. A brother once invited a couple over for dinner, but the husband came without his wife. The brother mentioned to his guest that only half of a person came. According to the Bible and God’s original ordination, I felt that this word was correct. God wants male and female to become one flesh; therefore, He wants man to marry. Marriage is God’s original ordination.

The Scripture quoted by the Lord Jesus in Matthew 19:5 was in response to a question concerning divorce. In His word the Lord acknowledged God’s original ordination concerning marriage. Furthermore, the Lord indicated that man should honor God’s original ordination concerning marriage. In the New Testament the Lord’s consideration of the importance of human marriage matched God’s consideration in creation.

3. “Let marriage be held in honor among all” (Heb. 13:4).

This word was spoken by the Holy Spirit in the New Testament through the apostle. It shows that the Holy Spirit, just as God in creation and the Lord Jesus in the New Testament, considers marriage to be an important human matter. The apostle said that marriage should be held in honor among all. Another translation of this word is “let marriage be held in all honor.” No one should despise marriage, and nothing related to marriage should be despised, because the Holy Spirit says that marriage should be held in all honor among all. This is the first relationship in human relationships. It comes out of God’s holy ordination. We absolutely must not consider marriage as being something unholy.

4. “Teachings of demons...who forbid marriage” (1 Tim. 4:1-3).

Marriage was ordained by God for man so that man could accomplish His goal. In contrast, the forbidding of marriage comes from demons. Demons have a desire to destroy the accomplishment of God’s goal, which depends upon human marriage, so they forbid people to marry. They not only forbid people to marry but also teach the forbidding of human marriage as a doctrine. People practice this doctrine in Buddhism, Catholicism, and other religions. Attacks on this divine matter of God’s ordination come from enemies who have an intention to destroy God’s goal by causing people to marry loosely or by forbidding them to marry. We should be aware that an ideology not to marry comes from demons, God’s enemies.

5. “If you do marry, you have not sinned; and if the virgin marries, she has not sinned” (1 Cor. 7:28).

Since marriage is according to God’s ordination and should be honored by man, no one should consider a proper marriage as sinful. Only a filthy or unstable mind will consider a proper marriage of a man and a woman as a sinful thing.

We should not have the thought that those who love God should not marry. This is not God’s thought. If we follow this thought back to its root, it comes from demons. Without marriage, there would be no propagation, and without propagation, the human race would end, and there would be no one through whom God could accomplish His goal in the universe. Therefore, the matter of marriage is not only right but also necessary in God’s eyes.

https://www.ministrybooks.org/index.cfm

(Excerpt from Crucial Truths in the Holy Scriptures, vol. 3, ch. 33)

I believe some of them would be helped by the burden released on marriage. I prayerfully look to the Lord that this year 2021, all the single saints can get married and many new families are raised up to bear the Lord's testimony here in the church in Gurugram. As being burdened for this matter, I also pray that the Lord would lead me through in discerning the Lord's sovereign arrangement of matching the single saints to get married. This is one important function in shepherding.

Grace me Lord to shepherd the single saints for their marriages.