In His Mercy

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in offenses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) and raised us up together with Him and seated us together with Him in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus, that He might display in the ages to come the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-6

Note on "mercy" from the Recovery Version

The object of love should be in a lovable condition, but the object of mercy is always in a pitiful situation. Hence, God's mercy reaches farther than His love. God loves us because we are the object of His selection. But because of our fall we became pitiful, even dead in our offenses and sins; therefore, we need God's mercy. Because of His great love, God is rich in mercy to save us out of our wretched position into a condition that is suitable for His love.

These days my subjective spiritual experience of God is that He is a God of mercy and I have been enjoying His mercy. I have come to a realisation, and it has been made more firm, that I am at His mercy. For reasons well known or unknown, one thing is sure, God is a merciful God and I am at His mercy. I have come to know of myself too well; my shortages, my weaknesses, my failures, my sins, my worldliness, my naturalness, and the list goes on... I am deeply convinced of my true condition and I can identify myself with Paul in his experience in Romans 7:24 "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from the body of this death?."

The Lord is sovereign in His shepherding that he exposes who I am, to humble me and let me know that without Him and His mercy I am nobody and I am nowhere. The divine light shining and the divine hand touching me proves to me all the more that I am nobody and I am nothing without Him and His mercy. All these weeks, day by day, the exposing and touching of the Lord is painful yet good for me. I no longer dare to think or speak or behave haughtily, or even with a little bit of pride or boasting. 

Once when I was much younger in the Lord and was burning for the Lord I used to condemn every slightest mistake, propagating the perfection of Christ. And such action, instead of shepherding and building up new believers, they shattered and turned back the new believers. Many years have elapsed since then, and many spiritual lessons learned. Now by His mercy, I can only thank the Lord for His mercy; I am at the helm of His mercy.

When I have been exposed to such an extent, I don't even deserve God's grace, theoretically speaking, I need His mercy instead; His mercy reaches further than grace. I am glad that the Lord taught me this important lesson of life. I believe this lesson will remind me unto eternity that He is a God of mercy, I am such a wretched man, and that I am what I am, not merely by His grace, but mostly because of His mercy. Therefore, I even deem it best to cling to the phrase literally, "in His mercy".

Yes Lord, in Your mercy, I am what I am. Ever preserve me in Your mercy from now and unto eternity.