Marriage Matrix

When I was a young single brother, some elder brothers who were already married and were helping younger ones married told me this paradox, "Marriage is the true test of spirituality." To my understanding, it means in choosing a life partner our true color comes out by the way we choose. Looks, status, wealth, fame, popularity,  etc., are the key deciders that all reflects who a person truly is. Yes, there are rooms for all these, but above all, the questions to consider thoughtfully are, "Do you allow God to choose in your choosing? Have you prayed enough to the extend that you have God's crystal clear leading to who your spouse should be? Have you consecrated your life, your marriage, and your family-to-be to the Lord?" If our answer to the above questions are on the affirmative, a marriage decision making is pretty simple and easy. God will honor the faith in Him and will give the best match. By the way, one point to remember is, "Do not presume to know anybody better than the Lord Himself. The creator of the bride and the groom knows fully well their past, present,  and future to be." Blessed are those who trusts the Lord’s perfect arrangement, they shall have a blessed marriage life. 

Many so called good and spiritual saints are slaves to their own fantasy-dream of ideal partner that never existed. No wonder, many sisters are still spinsters, and many brothers, bachelor boys. Only if they learn to submit in simplicity to God's sovereignty, they would have been serving the Lord as families by now. 

The Lord had mercy on me and when my time came I simply had one prayer and jus one choice, "Lord, Your will be done." I even prayed many many times, "Lord, deliver me from myself, my own choices, likes, tastes.... Do not allow what is not of You. Even if I unknowingly rebel against Your will, I pray, 'Stop it!' even to the point of sending disease, and taking my life." By praying such prayer for years, the Lord prepared me for the D day. He had dealt with me severely for one year for trying to voice my preference and choice. Having learned my lesson, I submit myself fully to the Lord. So when the time came, without any struggling, I simply could say, "Amen!"

Inward peace and joy, outward circumstances, all worked together for my marriage. Praise the Lord! God has blessed me and my wife with three children now! 

Recently, four marriages of four different brothers made be reconsider this matter of marriage deeply. Even the old sayings came to pass that marriage is the true test of spirituality. It indeed exposes the inward being of a person. Four cases are:

Case One: A brother who was from an idolatrous background was entirely by himself and always made business as excuses for not meeting the saints or coming to the meeting or praying or reading the Bible. He got married to his girlfriend of the same background he was saved from. My feeling was a mixture of joy and sadness mingling, and still hope,  one day he would be recovered back. 

Case Two: A brother who used to be very jealous for the Lord many years ago has gradually become very worldly. He began to expose himself in social media of all that he really is and got married to an unbeliever of his love life. It was so sad that he would not even open up for fellowship to fellow believers. For love of a person who does not love the Lord, should one abandon the Lord? I believe the Lord will recover this brother and his family one day too. 

Case Three: A brother,  who I lead to the Lord and even baptised, has been doing well in his professional life. Due to his busy schedule and lack of shepherding he somehow was aloof from the church life. Nevertheless, I tried my best to call and pray with him now and then. Though he asked me to find a sister for him, I could find none that would match him as he and his family has special preferences. Thank God, he found one and got married. And promised me that he would bring her to the church life after marriage. Only the grace of God can shepherd the couple into the normal church life. May the Lord recover them soon. 

Case Four: A brother married to a sister of whom I even was a speaker in his wedding meeting. This brother is very clear from the very beginning that he stands for the truth of the Bible and would remain so, and he made this his condition for marriage. He is determined to bring his wife into the enjoyment of the church life. May the Lord bless this couple for His testimony in their city. 

All the above marriages are clear indication of what kind of brothers these brothers are, and what kind of heart they have towards the Lord and His church. The first two have not been shepherded into the proper Christian life and ended up in a heathen marriage. The last two are holy matrimony and both have made a strong decision to bring their spouses into the church life. In all their marriages, their true conditions were fully revealed. Nevertheless, may the Lord gain them all as they are genuinely saved brothers. 

These marriages matrices are kind of complex. However, there are formulas to straighten them. May the Lord gain these marriages for His testimony!