Never do I reckon myself as one who can fellowship with others on their marital issues. Nevertheless, the Lord in His sovereignty sent some married couples to me for fellowship. I dared not give any "advice" or "counseling" as such, for I know my limitation as I myself am still learning. The Lord has been gracious in my marriage life. He has been blending and building me with my wife. In spiritual matters we both have always been one; that is one of the secrets and blessings of our marriage life. The Lord has blessed me with the sister He deems best; and she is my wife, my friend, my coworker, my lover, my companion, my vital partner, my beloved, my helper, my counterpart, and the list goes on...
Some brothers and sisters now and then came for personal fellowship on their marriage issue. I know too well that the solution to all the problems is Christ and Him crucified only. Teachings on marriage in an ethical or moral relationship are also not the solution. And I in myself can offer no alternative solution other than Christ. Therefore, I always led whoever came to fellowship with me on their marital issue to Christ and prayed with them and also prayed for them.
Recently, two families came to fellowship with me on a very serious note. The two of them have similar issues. They both have been through a very complicated marriage life and even contemplated divorce and utter dislike on certain character traits of their wives. It involves in-laws' relationship, finance, and health as well. I patiently listened to all what the husbands have to say about their wives. Of course, they also confessed the mistakes done from their part. Listening to such a fellowship, my spirit was so stirred up to lead the brothers into their spirits. The soul will reason, analyze, compare, contrast, debate, and will finally be ended up in self-justification but with death. Yes, right in all matters but death. Oftentimes, whoever spoke concluded the matter as though he was right, of course, in his opinion.
To one brother, I asked him to kneel down wherever he was, with the phone call still on. I also knelt down, and we prayed together. First, asking the Lord for forgiveness for all the wrongs and sins committed. Then, for the Lord to come into the marital life; especially in their love for the Lord and love for one another, in their oneness with the Lord and oneness with one another. The brother confessed that that was the first time he knelt down to pray. After that fellowship, he learned his spiritual lesson too. I have the faith that the family has already been recovered.
To the other brother too, I encourage him and his wife to pray together every day, even to kneel down and pray, not as religious piety but as one who is simple, sincere, and seeking the Lord desperately in their marital issues.
In fact, I and my wife have started a weekly fellowship with the couples separately. The fellowship included prayer and pursuit of the truth. The Lord taught me this simple and serious lesson of bringing the husbands and wives together to pray and pursue the truths of the Bible together. In this way, I don't have to speak that much nor give my "advice/counseling," the ministry of the word speak for and by itself. I simply echoed the word of God, and that really became the antidote for marital related diseases.
Praise the Lord for He taught me this way! So far, this is the best way I have found. If the Lord leads me further for something else, that's up to Him. Having said this, I am also nurturing my own married life, daily looking to the Lord for all the minute detail in my family life. Taking Christ as my Head and fellowshipping, blending, and building up with my dear wive is the way I have found to be full of blessing.
Lord, bless the families of the saints to be and bear Your glorious testimony!