Right or wrong is the not the scale of judgement as far as the divine life is concerned. It is the ministering of life that matters most. Life or death is the true scale of judgement in every matter of a Christian life. As much as the knowledge of good and evil belongs to the same tree, we must partake only of the tree of life. Though I know this in theory, often I failed in my practical daily living. I also tend to partake of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. O how much I need the Lord's mercy and His deliverance!
It was yesterday that in our gospel preaching we met a brother, actually an Assistant Pastor of some pentecostal denomination, who also distributed a gospel tract which we gave to his senior pastor months ago. We were glad that at least someone is also preaching the gospel, though paid for it, as it was his profession. Still the gospel is preached. As we met him, the topic turned to the matter of "Pastor" and "Denomination." Such questions are needless to pay heed to as we all know these are man made. But somehow these topics were brought up. Instead of forgoing such needless discussion, I got entangled with it. In fact, I was in my mind, and even in my flesh trying to argue on the unorthodoxy of being positionally designated as a "pastor." The discussion further went on to the division of Christianity into denominations. I completely failed to live out Christ in this regard. Instead, I just lived out my "self" of defending my understanding of the Bible using the Bible.
Though I may know the Bible to defend or argue on these topics, and though I could defeat the unorthodoxical teachings and practices of religious Christianity, I sure did not live out Christ nor did I minister life as I ought to. Even though I could argue very well on the fallacy of today's degraded Christianity, it was a mere argument and presentation of facts. But where is the life supply?
Even though, out of Christian courtesy, I prayed after presenting the biblical truths concerning the topic in concern, I sure did not minister life nor did I have peace afterward. So the moment I came back home, I was so convicted by the Spirit of my "biblical correctness" without life supply, and much less, the Lord's anointing, I sought for a secret place to confess. The only place I could find was a toilet wherein I locked myself in, knelt down and confessed my sin of self biblical defence. I sincerely asked the Lord to forgive me. And prayed that I would never entangle myself again in such lifeless futile debate on lifeless topics of the Bible.
This experience opened my spiritual eyes to see the vanity of lifeless biblical knowledge and presentation of the truths. All my desire to be an apologetic was crushed that very hour. I sure would not live to defend the truth without the life of the truth. The truth and life of the word of God should go hand in hand. Else, it is a dead doctrinal truth, a mere piece of information labelled as the word of God.
Lord, save me!
This experience is very unique in my Christian life. In one go, all my longing and dream of defending the truth apologetically was just crushed. The dream I treasured so dear and even reckoned as a service anointed of the Lord, was just smashed into pieces. Whether the Lord would still lead me to take the apologetic way or not will henceforth be determined by the true litmus test of life or death. Only, and only if it is life, then I will go for it. Otherwise, it is already, a no no. James 3 is a good reminder in this regard.
This experience I will never forget in my life. Avoid lifeless biblical truths! Only minister Christ as life.