Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
This well known proverb I have never realised its deep meaning until recently. I have been learning the lessons of speaking the proper words at the proper time with the proper tone. The Lord is gracious enough to let me learn this precious lesson. I had many missteps in using words that I should not, mainly because I did not exercise my spirit in speaking those words. My intention was good yet it did not go down well with the Lord who should have been consulted first before I spoke those words at the first place. Two significant incidents are:
My dad called me for a land purchase at a very good deal, not just for the sake of the land but more with the burden to help someone who is in great financial need. Out of respect for my dad I kind of consented to his request. Few days later when he called again I even promised that I would go for it though I knew I should have prayed over the matter first.
This call had triple effect on my part; to obey my dad, to gain a plot of land, and to help the needy. Nevertheless, I could not make a decision of my own; I had to go before the Lord and fellowshipped with Him and also with my wife though I had said something to my dad already. As I did so, deep within me I had a felling to fellowship the matter with my elder sister too. On such fellowship, my sister had a totally different feeling. This led me go before the Lord and pray over the matter again and again. As I prayed over the matter seriously before the Lord, I felt good not to go ahead for now, and informed my dad to put on hold. After these series of fellowship and prayer, I realised I should not have spoken words of consent to my dad so soon.
Another case is: A family I used to visit and have some freedom to speak frankly as a brother. This family has not been doing well in their relationship, and the two brothers have been living separately for months now. Nevertheless, I keep visiting these two brothers separately. Somehow, yesterday I spoke to the elder one something related to their family matter out of concern to bring the two families together, at least, to reconcile them. But it did not go down too well with him, and he spoke up to me about the bitter relationship he suffers with the other members. Immediately, my eyes were opened to see the serious of the matter; I should have simply ministered the word and not get into their personal family matter. The mood of the group meeting turned gloom. I later had to apologize and learned my lesson not to repeat the same mistake. Though the ministry of the word and prayer was still carried out, the enjoyment of the meeting was not high enough.
There were a couple of other incidents in which I spoke in haste and later had to repent for my loose words. At times I had to do things I am not suppose to do just because I had already spoken and promised to do it. And sometimes, it turned out that I was an utter liar by not fulling what I said I would.
Words can easily kill, and words can also readily give life. It depends on how and when those words are spoken. Death and life are indeed in the power of the tongue. Before making any decision, wait on the Lord until the sky is clear; then and only then, speak. Beware of words released out of emotion, temper, or anger. Be slow to speak, and speak only when you are sure what is spoken is of the Lord. This is a very important lesson for all Christian to learn, "watch your words."
Lord, guard my lips.
Set a watch, O Jehovah, before my mouth; Keep the door of my lips. Psalms 141:3