What has transpired of me, I do not know. Whether for good or for bad, only God knows. I seem to have changed in the way I do things and deal with business affairs. By and large, I have been a very soft person, always graceful to others even at the cost of misjudgment. I always like to be gracious to others as much as I could and defended their cause if questioned. But things seems to have changed. I hope for the better.
In official matter, I think I ought to be strict and straightforward. Often many have taken advantage of this, which definitely has a kickback. But recently, I learned my lessons of not to be too soft. When duty demands it I have to be tough, yes, real tough. But there must be a striking balance between being soft and being tough. I am learning this lesson, and hope I learn it well.
A brother who has come for food and shelter has often taken advantage of me. As he took me for a ride I had to help him learn his lessons as well. So whenever necessary I was strict with him. In matters related to handling his finance, time management, cleanliness and discipline, I was strict and demanded that he adhere to it, should he desire a help. Brotherly love cannot be taken for granted, and "it's OK" attitude must be rectified. So I spoke a strong word to this brother to take care of his things and his living. Though I spoke such a strong word, deep within my heart I wish he would learn his lesson and be normalised and be established as a proper man. Even with such words, my heart yearns for him, that he be established and "pillarised" to bear the Lord's testimony.
Another incident was when our office gas company worker unduly asked for service charge when no service was done, and when I requested him to replace the gas pipe he put aside by saying it's OK, but he said it needed to be replaced in his first visit. This outright lie I could not tolerate and refused to pay the service charge for no service. He threatened to cut the connection, but I retorted that he change the pipe first. Then in fits and fear he left. Later, I thought to myself, am I so tough? I did feel sorry for the strong word I uttered, yet at the same time, I felt it was necessary for me to exercise in such way to deal with money-monger.
Another case was with my own family, when to discipline my children I began to be strict with them. Often I did use strong words of rebuke and chastening. And oftentimes with punishment. Though I did all these outwardly, my inward being was yearning for them that they be disciplined and be God-man children. As and when necessary, I exercised strict discipline upon them. Sometimes, I often do the same to my wife in few matters, not much, even as she does to me a couple of times. We love each other and chastened one another.
By all these experiences I am learning to handle matters as it should be. But I am willing to be corrected or adjusted. This experience is not so sweet, but needful for my growth in life. These are what have been transpiring these days. Hope it all will work out for good.
Lessons of life are for all man;
For all sinner and saint
Amidst its pain and gain,
They must be learned now and then,
In this journey of life, till the end.