Though I am no counselor to any, and neither do I consider myself qualified to fellowship on marital matters, because of the urgent need, the Lord graces me to do so and I am learning from it myself.
A brother has time and again brought up the matter, mostly in desperation. Such was the opportunity for me to learn from one another. I myself have still many more lessons to learn, and am looking to the Lord for all of it. In fellowship with my brother I myself too learn in the process.
The key, to my understanding, for a blessed marriage life is, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. He must be the center and circumference of all marital affairs. Apart from Him, marriage is an empty shell which none can fully and truly satisfy. Christ must be the love that romances the couple, Christ must be the life that enlivens the couple, Christ must be the Shepherd that cherishes in humanity and nourishes in divinity, and the enjoying, experiencing and gaining of Christ must be the goal of the marriage life, and thereby becoming the testimony of Jesus as a God-man family life for the church life, and for the building up of the Body of Christ. Christian marriage should really be a picture and foretaste of Christ and the church.
Within these are all the spiritual and physical aspects in marital matters; mutual love, care, trust and oneness in Christ in every matter sweetens and tightens the marital cord of love. I do believe in prayer and the Lord's blessing so much, and practices my regular prayer with my wife, with my children and also with all who lives with me, as a household. And I also practice to be one spirit and also in one soul, in every matter big or small, with my better-half. I am just half, 50%, and need my wife as my help-meet, another half, 50%, to make us complete, 100%. Only then there will be a normal, proper and healthy marriage life.
Hopefully, my fellowship will be helpful to my brother as much as it is to me. Only the Lord can grace a blessed marriage life for His testimony.
Lord, be the centre and reality of my marriage life, and to my brother's too and all the saints'.